Thread: Everyday Chatting & Waffling {2020} Let's get to know each other!

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Alane, I am so glad you have become part of our thread, it is a nice place to be with wonderful friendships and great support :) I love coming here and seeing what is going on in folks' lives and making sure everyone is okay!
 
minicooper452 said:
Oh gosh, everyone is so busy and I feel like I'm barely scraping by.
We're safe. Things are settling down here, as you've probably seen. The NG stepped in and made things "right", IMO. Some of you know that I'm a Marine Mom, so I'm very pro-military. What was happening here, and around the country, was "allowed" for far too long and some of these governors are simply allowing it and shouldn't. Again, IMO. I think the arrest of all four officers will help and the fact that the memorial is over, here and the funeral will be over soon, will help as well. I hope.
Our family "issues" are calming as well. Anne and the kids are getting settled back into the condo. She's updating the curtains and paint and things to make it hers. Arraignment still isn't until the end of June so that's sorta hanging over our heads but our/her attorney is hopeful that everything will turn out "in her favor" as best as it can. The police report is very clear that he is twice her size and says she "shook him". Even the attorney shook his head and said, "Really? Exactly how did you accomplish that?" Then he admits that he grabbed her by the wrist and she has pictures of her bruises from days later. So he's pretty sure that it will be minimal for her when it's done. Then she asked the attorney, "So then what happens to him?" She was still under the misunderstanding that he could be charged/blamed for starting it all. The attorney had to tell her, "Nothing, Anne." And she starts crying again. "So he gets away with cheating, lying, fighting and hurting me, calling the cops, lying about the fight. I get arrested, charged, spend time in jail, get a record, spend thousands of dollars on an attorney, have to start completely over and he walks away scott-free." "YEP." smh
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I have been busy, that's for sure! Glad you are safe, I have watched anxiously to see how our folks are in the danger zones!

Glad things are settling down for Anne and so sorry that she has to go through this. Sometimes the injustice of some circumstances astound me. A friend was prosecuted and found guilty of a crime and ended up spending about 20 years of his life in jail when there was clear evidence that he did not do the crime for which he was convicted. It took persistence on our part to get him freed, but he is still a registered sex offender because his ex-wife claimed he abused their daughter, even though the child, the people who were there on the alleged occasion of the abuse and the physical evidence indicates it never happened. Go figure.

At least she is out of the relationship and is getting her life back on track. Small comfort, that's for sure, but a bright spot.
 
OMGoodness, Lynnie, I can't even imagine that! How horrible. God Bless you for fighting for your friend.
She is out of the relationship "for now", but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE PRAY FOR HER EVERYONE!!! She had a major meltdown again yesterday and said some scary things. Our condo IS really "old" and we thought that helping her fix it up would help her feel like it was hers, but so far it's just not and there's a lot left to do. Fix, replace, tear down wallpaper, paint, etc. She lost it when she found out that she'd have to move her camper-trailer and license it (just an annual thing, for which she doesn't have the hitch or the money right now) and then everything else came out. She wants to "go home to her family, her house, her dog, her life, her bed, etc"..... And she made a "valid-sorta-to-her-anyway", if icky, point. If she's going to cry all day and feel miserable anyway, she'd rather be in an icky, stable relationship, where she had a house/home, family, dog, life, all her bills were paid, she didn't have to worry about money, her car was taken care of, her kids could play outside while she made dinner or cleaned the house, all the normal stuff, and most of the time, her BF cuddled her, hugged her, slept with her and acted like he loved her.
HOW SAD IS THAT?!? I tried to remind her that if something ever happened again, she could LOSE her kids! That seemed to stop her for a second, but then she said, "I think I learned my lesson and I'll never do that again!" So I said, "So you'd be willing to live in a relationship where he would be allowed to lie and cheat (because he always has and probably won't change) and you won't say a word about that. Just to have a house, dog, bills paid, etc.? What if he decides to instigate something again? What if? Are you willing to take it? What if he lays hands on Caddie? What if Caddie or Hunter goes to school and says that Ray hit mommy? You could still lose your kids."
Sorry to unload, but it just frightened me so much yesterday that after ALL OF THIS, she could even think about going back to that. I know she's miserable, but......
 
Carla, one of my friends on Facebook posted a video of her daughter talking about why people in an abusive relationship don't leave when we think they should. I can understand how scary life is when all of a sudden the practical things like money are a in the mix. When someone is 'taken care of' in all other aspects, they keep thinking that maybe it won't happen again. I have tagged you in the video. It is quite long, but very powerful.
 
Carla, having been in an abusive relationship myself in the past, I can see where your daughter is coming from. She feels secure in what she is familiar with and (at least this was the case for myself), there is a low self esteem involved in it all too. Perhaps she feels like she doesn't deserve any better. For me, it took a lot of years of working on myself before I realized that I deserved a lot better than what I was settling for.

I am in a place now where most of the time my self esteem issues don't hold me back, although I will admit that there are still times that I struggle with my confidence.

Unfortunately, it might take her going back several times before she really is strong enough to move on with her life and in her own way.
 
Thank you ladies. Your support and words are helpful. We just don't know what to do.
Self-esteem is huge here, Dorann! We do know that. She is working with a therapist. So are the kids. Hopefully that will help too.
Thank you.
 
Anyone have plans for today? I know the lockdown has thrown most plans out of the window, but it is nice to plan a few things to do...

today I am planning on spending time watching television with mum, scrapping, painting rocks and cleaning.
 
I worked 8 hours today and then a friend of mine that I worked with at the old job stopped over to try to help me with the car. We are pretty sure that we got it diagnosed and I got the part. He is supposed to come over tomorrow and put the part in for me. He did tell me what to do once I got the part, but the issue is that I wasn't able to break the seal around the fuel pump lose and I definitely don't want to tear anything up.
 
The only plans I had for yesterday was having church at home with my family and a nap. It all went downhill after the nap. I don't know what got into hubby, but he criticized me. Then dinnertime came around and he jumped on our son for some tiny thing and therefore ruined dinner too. It took a while before everyone calmed down and apologized, but we were eventually able to watch some TV together. Boy was I glad for the day to be over when I got to bed.

Today was going along reasonably well but Eren fell into a depressive episode and refused to eat lunch, because that always perks them up. I think they did finally eat something, just in time for a band meeting. It really sucks that summer band (and thus fall band) is up in the air right now, as is school. It makes me want to tear my hair out. Sigh.

Something positive- I am not currently in any pain and I have plenty of things to keep me occupied. I hope y'all are having a better day than me! :)
 
I had a rough day yesterday. Grandson Mark called me from Chicago. He had taken a bus trip from Arizona to Chicago to meet a friend he had met on line. It turned into a situation and he has been arrested. I am beyond coping with this.
 
Oh wow, where to start.

Ane, I'm sorry you had an icky day. Glad hubby apologized. Depression... sucks. That's all I've got. I suffer as well and I know it's hard to pull up and pull out. Wishing you and Eren well with that. Glad you're keeping busy and pain free.

Lynnie, OMGosh... prayers for Mark, you, family, situation, everything!

We're surviving here. Anne and the kids stopped by yesterday to do laundry, hang out and have dinner with us. She was "better", but not great. She's trying to stay busy and mostly out of the condo, which is probably best.
 
Wow, Lynnie, I'm so sorry. Will be praying that works out.

Ane, you're not the only one having yucky days. Hang in there!

Carla, I'm happy to hear she's trying. I know it's hard but sounds like she hasn't given up.

I'm not having a good day. I had surgery done last Monday and felt great yesterday. but I over did it and now I'm back on my bum on my sofa. :(

Everyone stay safe and healthy!
 
Is anyone else exhausted trying to explain their beliefs to others, damned if you do damed if you don’t. I totally get how bullied kids feel now, if you don’t think just like others now days you are often attacked. It’s so sad because I Try to respectfully listen to all viewpoints it’s how we learn and grow. I honestly begged God no screamed at God to take my voice from me this morning what kind of ridiculous is that? Life is too exhausting anymore people are often so hateful and unkind and I just internalize everything I see and hear. 😩
 
Ellasspace said:
Is anyone else exhausted trying to explain their beliefs to others, damned if you do damed if you don’t. I totally get how bullied kids feel now, if you don’t think just like others now days you are often attacked. It’s so sad because I Try to respectfully listen to all viewpoints it’s how we learn and grow. I honestly begged God no screamed at God to take my voice from me this morning what kind of ridiculous is that? Life is too exhausting anymore people are often so hateful and unkind and I just internalize everything I see and hear. 
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Hi Ella, Over a month ago we had a situation where the County was planning on placing a COVID-19 Facility for the homeless in the middle of a retirement community. The hotel that was being used was in our community center parking lot. The grocery store and pharmacy used by many of our residents was directly across the street. It was a recipe for disaster. The community wrote to the owners of the hotel and the county supervisors and requested that it be placed elsewhere. The newspaper printed an article that was shared on facebook and people were badmouthing our community as an elitist white community that did not care for the homeless in the comments on this article. I placed a reasoned argument in the comments and was overwhelmed with the terrible things that were said to me. One woman said I was obviously uneducated, selfish, stupid, and I deserved to get COVID-19 and die. I tried to explain the logic - but the attacks were frightening. I ended up deleting all my comments and blocking the person who was the most vicious.

I wish we lived in a world where we could have discussions about how we feel about things without the bullying and the labels that people associate with beliefs. I wish people could express their opinions of our politicians in a respectful way without calling them silly names. I wish people were not so polarized.

I listen to a podcast called Intelligence Squared where they discuss things in a respectful debate format. I love it! You can hear both sides of topics such as
Was the Global Financial System Better Prepared for the Pandemic than 2008 (Episode 180)
How to fight an Infodemic (#179)
Is the two party system good for democracy (#176)
Should We Legalize Assisted Suicide (#97)

I like to hear both sides of an opinion. I want to hear why one side believes the country should open up and the other side thinks we need a bit longer
I want to hear why one set of people believe we should wear masks and the other sides does not.
I want to hear why the black community feels marginalized
I want to hear so many things and listen to intelligent arguments put forth.

I don't want to hear 'I hate the (president/speaker/senator/congressman) because they are stupid."
I want to hear "I will not vote for this politician because I believe their financial policies are damaging, let me tell you why"
I want to hear "I will not vote for this politician because I do not believe they are taking the country in the right direction, let me tell you why."
I want to hear "I believe / don't believe that social policies should be a focus in this election because...."
I want to hear "I believe we can improve the police force with (list ideas)"

You get my drift.

We live in a world of bullies who do believe people with opinions that are different from their own are wrong. They look for evidence to validate their opinions, they only listen to people who say they are right.

Change can only happen when people listen to each other's opinions and form a compromise that moves the country in the right direction. Change can only happen when people are willing to fight, intelligently and with kindness for what they believe is right. Change can only happen through compromise.

I have been thinking of creating a private Facebook group of intelligent people with differing opinions who can discuss hot topics respectfully and with excitement to hear what other people have to say. People who will read smart news sources and think about what is said and take it in and look for differing opinions and weigh them.

Abraham Lincoln said
At what point shall we expect the approach of danger? By what means shall we fortify against it? — Shall we expect some transatlantic military giant, to step the Ocean, and crush us at a blow? Never! — All the armies of Europe, Asia and Africa combined, with all the treasure of the earth (our own excepted) in their military chest; with a Buonaparte for a commander, could not by force, take a drink from the Ohio, or make a track on the Blue Ridge, in a trial of a thousand years.

At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected? I answer, if it ever reach us, it must spring up amongst us. It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide.

​
This country will collapse on itself if we become so divided we cannot listen. There was an article some years ago in the Times that said the average empire lasts about 250 years and America's time is up in 2026. It was an interesting article. If we continue down this path, who knows what will happen....

I would love to be able to discuss things with someone who has a different point of view, but respects what I have to say. Who says "I disagree with that for these reasons" instead of saying "You are wrong." At the end of the day, if we don't end up agreeing, we can be friends who disagree with something that does not affect our friendship.

I also want discussions that propose solutions instead of just listing what is wrong.
If there are issues with the police, how do we make them better
If our fellow citizens are not being treated properly, how can we improve that.

I am so sorry this is such a rant! I am TOTALLY with you on this, Ella. I hope I have not offended anyone.
 
I’ve been scrapping, reading and getting outdoors a lot. Like Ella, I’m tired of all the negativity online so try to stay away from it and not being too chatty lately. We are all healthy so am grateful for that and it’s been great having my daughter home.
 
Thank you Lynnie and Rae, I just needed to vent my emotions your messages helped me greatly. Nothing near whats going on in the world right now actually trivial but those who know me know my pool is my baby and I take pride in her, I keep her sparking. Well I got a good kick in the butt today as she looks like blue milk this morning :( humbling me I guess. Let the fun begin given she is over 30,000 gallons this is 3 days work or more to turn the tide.
 
Ellasspace said:
Is anyone else exhausted trying to explain their beliefs to others, damned if you do damed if you don’t. I totally get how bullied kids feel now, if you don’t think just like others now days you are often attacked. It’s so sad because I Try to respectfully listen to all viewpoints it’s how we learn and grow. I honestly begged God no screamed at God to take my voice from me this morning what kind of ridiculous is that? Life is too exhausting anymore people are often so hateful and unkind and I just internalize everything I see and hear. 
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Lynnie, thanks for your wonderful words. I remember how much flak you took for standing your ground when they were trying to move those homeless people into your community. I always feel the need to listen to both sides too, before making a solid decision.

Ella, I know EXACTLY how you feel. Not only exhausted from explaining, but just yesterday it was inferred, by personal text message, from a co-worker, that I am r*cist due to the things I've been posting on FB. Yes, that was just lovely. How am I supposed to waltz back into my office and just pretend that nothing has changed, huh? I have never posted anything remotely r*cist. I have never agreed with anything that happened. I've always said that what those officers did was wrong. I've always said that GF shouldn't have died that way. I've always said that the looting and rioting was wrong. But ya know what else? I'm tired of being held accountable for things I didn't do! Like simply being born white. Not my fault. Never owned slaves, neither did my family. My father went out of his way to hire diversely, including women when that was frowned upon too! Not only that, y'all know what's been going on in our house. No one else does. This is a safe space for me. I don't need the people I work with to know things about my personal life. But what about that?!? What IF what she said to me was MY LAST STRAW?!? GOD! I wish people would just STEP BACK and think for a minute. It's just not all about you!

Sorry. I'm done now.
 
Carla if you feel uncomfortable working with her, tell you boss about it or go to human resources. She shouldn't have said anything. Some people don't know when to mind their own business. If she didn't like what she saw on your page, she should have just scrolled by! Keeping you and yours in my prayers!
 
Hugs Carla, I feel your pain, my sons girlfriend is actually from Africa she legit can be called African American she knows my heart and loves me even when we differ. I’m trying to learn to drown out the hateful voices. Trying to make everyone think the same in this country is never going to work. I have a hard time with being titled white privileged, I grew up in a very poor home. I’m where I am today not by anything I did or earned. I couldn’t pay for college and didn’t get to go. I’m here because my husband who was also very poor wanted out of his neighborhood worked his butt off and has become very successful. I’ve just been the leaning post safe place of rest when he’s tired. The belief you deserve what another man works hard for is baffling to me... work hard achieve it too. I don’t like the word oppressed either I personally hate ALL labels you believe it if you hear anything long enough. My future grandchildren by them when the come and are of color will not hear it of oppression by me they will hear that they are smart as hell, brave as F, capable of any dream they fight for but first and foremost They are KIND. “NO” one is unimportant. BTW my sons African girlfriend says I’m bae as F ... I’m told that’s a compliment. :) God knows my heart so I’m drowning out the hateful voices.
 
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I'm glad we have kind, thoughtful and supportive people here.

Mark is trying to organize a call with his ex-girlfriend in Arizona and between them, they called me 22 times yesterday. I am exhausted! Life would be easier if I would just pay for their call, but NOPE, not going to do that. He has come to the realization that he is going to be in jail for a while and wishing that he had listened to the people who told him the bus trip was a stupid idea. I have come to the realization that he should not be calling me daily or it will cost the earth!! 21c a minute is not much, really, but when he calls that many times, it sucks up the minutes.

Other than that, we are doing some sorting and rearranging at my house. I have ordered a custom bookcase for a wall in my living room. It is about 9ft tall by 9ft wide and will house most of my crafts in cute boxes. I am really excited about that. It was WAY more than I thought it would be, but I wanted exactly what I am getting and am really pleased with it. I was worried that I might have buyer's remorse the next day, but no. I also ordered drawers for the kick space in my kitchen. I have wanted those for a long time too. I am so excited about that. The last thing for this year will be the counter tops in my kitchen. My association replaced them with something I don't really like and that stains really easily. I'm going to order something I love.

I am so pleased.

With it comes the realization that I need to downsize my possessions and crafts. I started yesterday. I had a Kitchen Aid that I never used. I saw someone on NextDoor that was looking to buy a Kitchen Aid if someone did not use theirs. I realized I don't and messaged her. She asked how much I wanted, I asked how much she was hoping for. She said $100, I said $75, she said $80. I don't think that is the way bargaining is supposed to work, but I wanted to be generous and thoughtful. I have not used it in about 4 years. So now I have an extra $80 :) No, I will not buy more crafts haha.

Part of my reluctance to downsizing is not getting rid of things, oddly enough, it is wasting things. If I found someone who needed picture frames, I would gladly give up my collection.

I have an amazing collection of tea pots and tea cups. I could seat 175 people with them. Mostly because we used to have teas at the Daughters of the British Empire and it was easier than having people using their own collections. I have decided I am not responsible for all the teas and I think I am going to get rid of them all. Except, of course, my favourites. Well, maybe even those, since I don't use them. I love looking at them, but what is the point... I may keep enough to have a tea party for 25 or so, and leave it at that. Maybe I will have a Spring Tea for my friends every year. That sounds like so much fun!

Anyway, rambling away.

Hope all is going well with you all :)

Lynnie
 
Hope things work out for Mark.
Glad you splurged on what you want and are working on decluttering.
That 25 person tea party sounds delightful!

I've been busy here. I didn't work as much this week 8 hours compared to last week 25 hours. They cut some people's hours, I was one of them. I need to have a talk to him about that because some didn't get cut any! Can't wait to find a better full time job instead of working 2 part time jobs!
Than busy doing what you ask? About two weeks ago I got word that I passed the Civil Service Test. They rank the test scores and based on that job seekers look for potential employees. I got six canvas letters so far. I've had to update my resume. You know how much times goes into that. Well, last night I was stuffing the envelopes and realized I had 2 dates wrong. (I had it proofread by 3 people so that part was OK). I have to reprint and restuff, hopefully I will not have to rewrite the envelops as well. This has taken the better part of three days to complete.
I'm also trying to design a kit according to directions given at another site, but that didn't go well but I'm determined to finish the kit following along with them!
In a day or so, I'll finally have time to get back to scrapping.
 
Good morning, ladies. I'll be taking it easy this wkend. I've had lower back pain all week and its not getting any better so will use the heating pad more to loosen things up and do some gentle stretching. I've had lower back pain that flares up and down for many yrs but its been a long time since it got this bad and is lingering so long. Ugh. I know Jill was also bothered with back pain lately and hope hers is getting better. But, I count my blessings that I can still move around and the pain isn't constant.

Jen has been moving more of her things in here and we were going to move some furniture around and remove one of the desks in my office this wkend but we won't do that until maybe next wkend b/c of my back. I am like Lynnie....needing to purge and downscale lots of things here. I've decided to get rid of almost everything in my scrap room. I know I'm never going to do paper scrapping again. I'll keep a small amount of things for coloring (with Bailey) but its time to let it all go, its just taking up s space. I'm going to have lots to take to charity and the city dump over the next month or so.

Tonight we'll have a quiet night, watching some movies and I might get some scrapping done. I'll have to look for a good mystery/thriller to watch.

I'm going to go get another coffee, get the heating pad plugged in for my office chair and see if I can sit for awhile here. Hope you all are well and have a good wkend.
 
Waving hi, I’m not very talkative. I feel oppressively weighed down by stuff that just keeps getting heavier every day. I’ve put everything to the side in my life as I have zero concentration. Alberta has had some wicked severe weather this week, to the north and to the south of us. As I lay here in bed watching the lightning strikes light up the entire room, I’m grateful we didn’t get the hail. Knock on wood.
Alexis gets another lidocaine infusion Thursday, we are hoping it works, the one on Monday only worked for about two hours.
The boy did awesome with creative writing online. Not so great with science but still a pass. Social we shall see. Surveys coming from the different school boards asking how we think classes should resume in September. 1)Normal 2) scheduled to allow for social distancing, extra cleaning, 3) stay online. Apparently 92% want normal school to recommence with no accommodations for Covid.
if I send Austin to school for grade 12 I need to take into account that I’m high risk of not surviving covid, as is Alexis. Not high risk of catching it, just not of surviving it if caught. It’s scary. I think schools will be a Petri dish come our canadian fall and winter. Hoping otherwise.
 
Yes, Sherri, YOU and Alexis, MUST BE CAREFUL!!! But I know I'm preaching to the choir. That must be so scary, but hard for your son too, knowing how hard the online learning and isolation is for him. I think school is going to be a petri dish for all of us. I can't even imagine what our preschool is going to look like. Imagine trying to keep masks on 3-5 year olds?!?

I'm so sorry you've been in pain, Rae. Hubby suffers from back pain as well and it makes me so sad to watch him try to stand up each time and wince and moan. Hope your heating pad helped. Glad Jen is getting settled. Tell me how the purging goes! I really need to do that too. I know that I am never turning back, but I am a "closet" (lol) hoarder and I find it so hard to get rid of stuff. The paper scrap stuff would be so easy to give/sell away to newbies or people who just want to play and don't have the stash!

Congrats on passing your test, LilyAnn!!! Good luck in the job search. So frustrating to start a project and have to start over, but we've all been there and we're all pulling for you!

Things are just "things" right now. Still sad about my "life", but trying to stay as positive as possible. Trying to remember that we're all on MAX emotions right now and giving other people Grace for lashing out, just like I expect them to give me.
 
Another end to an average week. I'm finding it hard to deal with my child, Eren. They are being a typical teenager, not doing what they're asked to do, then spending hours playing video games or watching Netflix. And then they go and do something like taking down all the lace curtains to wash them and the windows. Must be the quarantine craziness, huh? They would normally be spending these hours with friends or at band and I feel for them but at the same time things need to be done around the house and we need everyone to help. I'm normally more lenient in the summer but lately I find myself siding with hubby about this, about getting things done. Sigh.

On the other hand, hubby is returning to his workplace for a few days this week. Not sure how I feel about that, though not everyone is returning and they will all be 6 feet apart, masks on. Oh and we are replacing our dishwasher this week because it is not washing anymore. Money flying out the window, LOL!

My brain is all over the place today- I'm sorry if this makes no sense. My thoughts are with you all and your struggles. Take care! :)
 
Now, I have not read through all the current posts here - sorry - I do hope you are all keeping safe and well.

I wandered off from Ginger Scraps to become more involved somewhere else but something keeps drawing me back here.

So please, all help me know what it is about this place that makes you so active here. Send me a Private message if you prefer.
 
LilyAnn, great news about the Civil Service Test.

Rae, I hope your back is feeling better. I have an issue, too. It is too many hours hunched over computer for me :)

Sherri, I am so sorry Alexis is not doing as well. I feel so badly for her. Good luck figuring out what to do about school, you have my sympathy.

Carla, I am so sad you are sad. Big Hug.

Ane, you have handled everything with Eren so well. It is a tough situation. Your post made perfect sense.

Anne-Marie, I love it here! When I was CT at another site, I loved this site for giving me comments, and not just token comments. When my site folded, I ended up here and I have found such a group of NICE people. There is very little drama here, people are supportive and the site folks are spectacular. There is not another site like it.
 
Anne-Marie, I answered you above, in case you missed it.

Well, folks, it sure has been a rough week. Grandson Mark is still in Jail and it looks as though he will be for a while. He was so foolish. He is calling every day and so appreciative of the little I can do for him, but I have had several opportunities for video calls and he looks good. Keep him in your prayers.
 
Anne-Marie, I agree with what Lynnie said. I love the friendly people, the comments I get on my layouts (even the not-so-good ones) and no drama. The staff are very involved and kind, especially Ginger, who has bent over backwards for me a couple times with store issues. I'm so glad I picked this place to call home almost 3 years ago. :)
 
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