Everyday Chatting & Waffling {2023} Let's get to know each other!

[Firstoscartgrouch]

Fun vacation vibes to everyone

 

[Route66]

Have a great time Rae!

Have fun Karen! We are heading out soon too, off to Vancouver, then flying to Toronto and then to Ft Lauderdale to get on the cruise ship. I'll be posting random pics on FB along the way with my phone.

See you all in 3 wks.

 

[AJsRandom]

You have a good time too, Karen! Can't wait to see yours and Rae's layouts when you get back and get them scrapped!

 

[FormbyGirl]

I'm a little late to the game, but I hope Rae and Karen see "BEST WISHES FOR A LOVELY HOLIDAY!" I love traveling and can't wait to head home to England again. I miss it terribly when it is a long time since I have visited; it has been a year. A year ago, almost to the day was when we were in England, and we found out we had COVID and had to change our flights.

I have just got back from Steven and Nessa's. Baby is due any day. I am on babysitting call, so I can babysit Bruce while they are at the hospital. We are looking forward to having a little baby around again. Nessa looks radiant. I was there for four days this time, and it was a little more challenging than usual. I walk Bruce to school every day and pick him up. On Friday, he had a meltdown on the way home, and I had to carry him home. If you have ever tried to pick up a three-year-old in the middle of a temper tantrum, kicking and screaming. It was not easy. I managed to get him home, but while he was still kicking and screaming on the front pathway at the house, a police officer pulled up. I had been reported! The officer spent a while asking questions, and I had to pull Steven out of work (he works from home a few days a week) to talk to him. He eventually decided I had not been abusing Bruce and left. I spent the rest of the day in tears. I have not devised a plan to handle a screaming toddler with a tantrum on the way home. Since I have been doing this, he has done this three times, although this was by far the worst. Steven suggested I take the stroller daily, but I generally love walking him home. Not letting him do what he wants triggers it. Like running into the street, playing in a neighbours front garden (they have huge vicious dogs)... I am at a loss. I may have to take a stroller to pick him up every day. Of course, getting him into the stroller might also be an issue. Does anyone have any experience with this? I come from a generation where children earned a good swat on the bottom if they misbehaved, but that is not allowed now. Sitting and talking to him makes him madder. Waiting him out is not a successful strategy. Bribing him makes him madder. Cuddling, sympathy, I have tried it all!

I am so glad to be home today. I am very tired.

 

[msbrad]

Oh Lynnie! How I feel for you and the Bruce meltdowns! Fortunately [knock on word, praise to the Lord above]...David and Sarah have not done that to me. I too am of the same generation, where / when/ if: a "pop-a-booty" was necessary, it fixed a lot. Different parenting on a lot of things these days.
I am also grateful that my daughter and son in law- parent the same as me.
As a teacher, Oh...I saw a lot in behaviors of children.

Now as I continue to sit in the elementary school car line for pick up, I witness a lot as well. Mommy's come with a wagon so little one doesn't have to walk. I've seen strollers for pre-schoolers where the child refuses to get in and mommy refuses to pick up. Kid always wins.

A deep breath and a prayer for patience for you. Consistency is best. Hopefully he will learn soon, you are not playing games.
m
ps- sometimes a choice between a or b...can work.

 

[FormbyGirl]

Choices work getting him dressed for school and often for eating. A wagon wouldn't really work. He would probably throw himself out of it during a tantrum. If I decide on the stroller, I will pick him up and get him in it, but I know it will be hard if he is resistant. He displays some of this behaviour at home, so I can practice different techniques and see what works. Usually, I pick him up, put him in a room, and close the door. That works well; he comes out a little ray of sunshine after a while. Obviously, that will not work in the middle of the street! His teacher had trouble with him at school a few days ago and asked what treat might work. He loves cookie butter, so I packed a slice of bread with cookie butter for the teacher to use in an emergency. It was still in the backpack, so I tried that. Rather than soothing him, it magnified the meltdown. I might find some little Toy Story characters that I can show him and give him a choice to walk home nicely with a Toy Story character, or just sit and meltdown

He is on the spectrum, and can't express himself in words. He talks, but can't manage vowels. I think that magnifies his frustration.

 

[AJsRandom]

Goodness, Lynnie, poor you, poor Bruce! I havE seen Lena behave like this, but usually my son and DIL know how to head it off- it’s all about watching the clock, making sure she doesn’t get too hungry, etc. But that won’t work at preschool, when he is done with it all. Lena has speech issues too, and that doesn’t help. I will think about this.

what I came here to say is, a close lightning strike took out my internet and TV last night, so I don’t know how often I can check in. We have power so that’s good, but no internet. Guess it will be reading and board games for us until we get it back.

 

[carla]

Goodness, Lynnie, poor you, poor Bruce! I havE seen Lena behave like this, but usually my son and DIL know how to head it off- it’s all about watching the clock, making sure she doesn’t get too hungry, etc. But that won’t work at preschool, when he is done with it all. Lena has speech issues too, and that doesn’t help. I will think about this.

what I came here to say is, a close lightning strike took out my internet and TV last night, so I don’t know how often I can check in. We have power so that’s good, but no internet. Guess it will be reading and board games for us until we get it back.

Ane, I hate that for you! We had bad thunderstorms here yesterday and the electric went out for about an hour but no damage. We did have 1.5 inches of rain in a short time and my yard showed it, so much that poor Sassy didn't want to go out to do her business! Hopefully, it won't take long for you to back up and running....but a good book or some crochet sounds good.

 

[FormbyGirl]

Naturally I had to scrap the occasion!

 

[Jill]

Lynnie, what a distressing thing to happen!! The police intervention must have been so stressful to add to the stress of wrangling a tantrum throwing toddler. Does he have one of those trikes with a long handle for the adult to push? Something like that might make the home trip exciting for him. He is probably worn out from his day at school. Good luck with it. Hopefully today's home journey will be calmer. Interesting to read about Lena, Ane. Jack, one of our twin grandsons, would get very agitated and would lose his cool if food was not offered when his body required it. His parents got to recognise the signs and would always have a snack or meal ready to go at the first sign of stress. He has a really fast metabolism and at age 19, he is still the same about his body needing to be fed regularly albeit without the tantrums.

Beautiful autumn day here, my fav time of the year. Cold nights, warm sunny days....perfect!

I have another scrappy question for you, Stickybeaks need to know: Do you have a favourite style of LO that you gravitate to when choosing your page design? Arty? Traditional? White Space? Minimalist?.....

I have never paper scrapped but love to try to emulate digitally the look of a paper scrapped page, however, I would really really love to be more arty!! More minimalist!! When I was first learning this hobby, I was taught to think that, if it is not realistic on a traditionally scrapped paper page, you should not do it digitally(example..elements running off the side of a page) ...I've changed my thoughts about that and I now believe that we can do it because we can digitally if we like the look of it!! I think minimalism is beyond me as I just cannot help stacking my pages with all the delicious elements I can fit on there...I move a flower a tad, that means I need to add another one for balance and so on, but I am always drawn to that style when I see pages in the gallery. What are your thoughts?

 

[FormbyGirl]

Jill,

I definitely think we are allowed more license with digi pages than IRL pages. My IRL pages are much more simple and I don't overlaps elements. We have so much more freedom with digi pages!

This is my default style when I am stuck! A big blended pic with one or more smaller pics and/or journaling and elements. The first one isn't that now I look, but it has that blendy bit that is sort of the same thing. I love blended pictures. I seldom use a mask, I general use a watercolour brush and paint the pic back in.

 

[Carla minicooper452]

OMG Lynnie! I can't even imagine. (well, I can and it pains me) I'm so sorry. This world... smh, as Michi says, "the kid always wins". And what does that teach them? Unfortunately, ASD kids don't think or react as others do. If-then statements work well. With Bruce, they'd obviously have to be very short and very pertinent to what he likes A LOT. So, you mentioned Toy Story, "if you get in the stroller, you can hold Buzz." And LOTS of patience. Lots of pause. As you've probably already figured out, they're brains take a lot longer to process words. A long-handled bike was mentioned and that might not be great if he still tends to "throw" himself. Wouldn't want him to jump off and you have to chase him. Once in his stroller, you can strap him in. I'll ask some of my ASD teachers if they have any other ideas.
Another thing that occurred to me is a written card from Steven and Nessa with their contact info, YOUR name, Bruce's name and "condition" (briefly) and a picture of the entire group (of you) for future reference. In case something like this ever happens again. You never know how many busybodies are out lurking!
And OF COURSE you had to scrap it. What a cutie!

 

[breoni]

Lynnie, I admire your love and patience for your little guy. We have dear friends who have two littles who are both on the spectrum. The oldest, their daughter, is verbal. But their youngest, their son, is not. They have both children in a special school who have done wonders for both children. Their daughter is now 8 and she does amazingly well. Their son will always have challenges. What's amazing is the reaction of the adults in their family. Her husband's parents do not understand how to relate to their grandkids, so they don't really try and it breaks the parents' hearts. When we visit them, we know it's going to be loud and there's going to be toys everywhere, and there's going to be disruptions... but there's also going to be so much love demonstrated. You just have to show patience and consistency. The other day, their daughter actually gave us both a hug!!! We were floored (she normally doesn't like anyone to touch her). So that was a win!

Jill, every time I read "stickybeak" I get a huge smile! Please use that phrase as often as possible in this forum! LOL! To answer your question... I love all styles of scrapbooking. But if pressed, I tend to lean arty and minimalist for a basic design. I don't like the page to look overly cluttered. Of course, that doesn't mean I won't completely clutter up the page after I start it! LOL!!! While I do miss walking into a store that sold the traditional scrapbooking papers (and having the ability to feel all of the yummy papers), I so prefer digital. Having the freedom to resize, recolor, and duplicate elements and papers on a whim is such a part of my process now, I think it would be difficult to go back to the traditional method. I remember taking the time to literally map out each page, print my photos to match my sketches, and packing up everything I'd need for each layout to go to a crop. If it were an 8-hour crop, I'd spend at least 8 hours prepping for that crop. Now I just pack the laptop! LOL!

We had storms in our community this weekend, too. Our house lost power for several hours, but we were not home at the time. I was down with my nephews taking their senior prom photos. Happily, my sister-in-law found a location where we could shoot out of the wind and rain. We ended up going to a fire station where one of their friends work. I was hoping it would be one of those really old firehouses. Nope. It was brand new and shiny. So not much for any architectural interest. But the fire fighters were so awesome!! We had a group of 8 teens, and they let the kids get in the fire truck and even try on the helmets and jackets. So we ended up having a blast. The girls made sure we got all of the nice photos taken first, and then they even put on the helmets. I loved that they weren't "too cool" to have fun!

Yesterday, Randy and I had a date and went to the Tulip Festival to see the flowers that survived Saturday's storms. The park was PACKED. The small community had 156 vendors, so we ate yummy food (I had a bierock) and just saw everything that was fit to be seen. It was still windy and the vendors had to keep weights (and their hands) on their tents to keep things from blowing away. But it was a fun event.

I have a short day at the office today before I fly out to Washington, DC, for a business meeting. I'll be there for a couple of days and then fly back Wed. night. Have I packed yet? Nope. LOL!

Hope everyone has a great day!

 

[FormbyGirl]

I am fortunate with Bruce. He is an angel most of the time, and we love walking home together. I think that is what I will miss the most, the little games we play on the way home. I will exchange that for a daily meltdown as I get him into the stroller. Still, it will only be one way. He loves school so much that he can't wait to get there. I have never had a meltdown on the way to school.

Although Bruce is non-verbal, he does try. He cannot form consonants, and there does not appear to be a physical reason. He signs quite a few words, so that is helpful. I can only imagine how hard it is to be unable to communicate. His meltdowns at home can be handled with isolation, but that does not work on the street. Anything and everything I tried last Friday was a disaster. It is the same at home if I try to coax him out of a mood. Absolutely nothing helps.

The school is a special class for children with issues. Most of them have speech problems, and some have behavioural issues also. The teachers are phenomenal. They have so many restrictions on what they can and cannot do, though. They are not allowed to punish a child at all.

I did have an idea, though. Another of his favourite activities is chalk on the pavement. I might take a few pieces of chalk with me every day and reward good days with chalking on the front path when we get home. If he misbehaves on the way home, I will remind him that he can chalk when he gets home if he hurries. That might work. If he looks like he is about to have a meltdown, I will hand him a piece of chalk for 'when he gets home.' I will try it before I have to push a stroller uphill every day. I don't want to reward bad behaviour, and while his mother does not believe in spanking, she does believe in punishment of some kind and a lot of positive reinforcement for good behaviour.

Anyway, my days are blessed with Bruce no matter what, and the rough days are a reminder of how many good days he has.

 

[LilyAnn]

I'm a little late to the game, but I hope Rae and Karen see "BEST WISHES FOR A LOVELY HOLIDAY!" I love traveling and can't wait to head home to England again. I miss it terribly when it is a long time since I have visited; it has been a year. A year ago, almost to the day was when we were in England, and we found out we had COVID and had to change our flights.

I have just got back from Steven and Nessa's. Baby is due any day. I am on babysitting call, so I can babysit Bruce while they are at the hospital. We are looking forward to having a little baby around again. Nessa looks radiant. I was there for four days this time, and it was a little more challenging than usual. I walk Bruce to school every day and pick him up. On Friday, he had a meltdown on the way home, and I had to carry him home. If you have ever tried to pick up a three-year-old in the middle of a temper tantrum, kicking and screaming. It was not easy. I managed to get him home, but while he was still kicking and screaming on the front pathway at the house, a police officer pulled up. I had been reported! The officer spent a while asking questions, and I had to pull Steven out of work (he works from home a few days a week) to talk to him. He eventually decided I had not been abusing Bruce and left. I spent the rest of the day in tears. I have not devised a plan to handle a screaming toddler with a tantrum on the way home. Since I have been doing this, he has done this three times, although this was by far the worst. Steven suggested I take the stroller daily, but I generally love walking him home. Not letting him do what he wants triggers it. Like running into the street, playing in a neighbours front garden (they have huge vicious dogs)... I am at a loss. I may have to take a stroller to pick him up every day. Of course, getting him into the stroller might also be an issue. Does anyone have any experience with this? I come from a generation where children earned a good swat on the bottom if they misbehaved, but that is not allowed now. Sitting and talking to him makes him madder. Waiting him out is not a successful strategy. Bribing him makes him madder. Cuddling, sympathy, I have tried it all!

I am so glad to be home today. I am very tired.

What is causing the tantrums? Is it stress from school? Is he tired, hungry? Maybe a snack for the walk home? Maybe if the school has a playground, maybe hang out there for a little bit. Maybe tell him on the walk to school that if he gets home without a tantrum he can have some special pre-planned treat.

 

[FormbyGirl]

What is causing the tantrums? Is it stress from school? Is he tired, hungry? Maybe a snack for the walk home? Maybe if the school has a playground, maybe hang out there for a little bit. Maybe tell him on the walk to school that if he gets home without a tantrum he can have some special pre-planned treat.

He is three and non-verbal, so we are not really sure what triggers a tantrum. I am baffled when I see him do it. He is generally not tired or hungry and it will come on suddenly. In this case, he wanted to run ahead of me and I said no. He had a little meltdown, but it didn't seem to bad and we continued walking. Then he just sat down and wouldn't move. I had a snack for him, but offering it to him (his FAVOURITE thing to eat, mind you!) triggered the worst of the tantrum. You would think I had offered to poison him! He threw himself down on the concrete and started screaming.

We were already part way home and by a fairly busy street, so my options were limited.Because of tight security on schools, the playgrounds are behind locked gates and we can't hang out there. In Bruce's case, he would want to stay at the playground all day and never leave. We have had tantrums over leaving playgrounds.

As it stands, in the three months I have been doing this, he has had three meltdowns where I have had to carry him all or part way home. This last was the worst. Most of the time, it is so much fun. I am baffled.

I think I will carry chalk with me and tell him he can have the chalk when he gets home and he can draw on the path in his front garden. We will see how that goes. It is not my favourite solution, because I can't leave him out there alone. There are coyotes across the street and they have been known to attack small children. Still, it might help.

 

[FormbyGirl]

And he loves school! It is his favourite thing in the world. He has been known to put his hat and backpack on when he is wearing pajamas, haha. He doesn't understand why he can't go to school at night if he wants to.

 

[glee]

Oh dear, Lynnie! Can't believe someone called the police. But then again, if you had been abusing him , it would have been a good thing to stop. It's been too long since I've had close contact w littles, so nothing helpful from me. Just love and support for you and him, too. The fact that you were up for scraping it is a good sign. Hope he is able to accept the new baby and his imminent dethronement.
I like the chalk idea, hope he goes for it.

 

[glee]

Jill, style wise I like to mix it up, though I think I tend toward blending papers to create the look I want and if course, kit mixing. I rarely scrap from just one kit. I used to be anti template, but have changed my opinion about that. I do usually tweak or turn templates, but I find them useful starting places. I really love word art as well as the clocks, brackets, and ampersand you already know I lean toward.

 

[Firstoscartgrouch]

There is a difference between a tantrum and a meltdown.
tantrum is generally a deliberate act
a meltdown is simply the way a person reacts out of their control when overstimulated and unable to self regulate.
to tell difference between the two is typically being able to be bribed out of it.

‘’self regulation is the key. Knowing what it is , is often hard for an adult to know about themselves. Put that on a small young child unable to even communicate and meltdowns will occur.

‘’for my son all we could do is keep him safe, either at a mall, event, road, or anywhere else. Waiting it out, offering love, patience, . He was a runner, and I often had to have him on a harness and leash. His safety taken care of I could sit down, eye level him, and offer my prescense. Sometimes that helped sometimes it didn’t. Sometimes it was just waiting him out. He had a need and we just had to find it, and that need was never the same on a daily basis. The sun might be too bright, and his water too warm could be what set off a day of seemingly minor things but compounded over the day, would be just enough for him to meltdown.
‘there is a book called the explosive child that is a huge help to me and is highly recommended in the community.

Austin never talked till 3 and then has mutism out of his control.

im always here to talk, never judge.

 

[Firstoscartgrouch]

Here is a nice chart

 

[FormbyGirl]

Sherri,

That is so helpful; thank you!

I don't know if it is a tantrum or a meltdown. I suspect a meltdown. I certainly hope it doesn't take that long for him to calm down on the street, I don't think I can take sitting on the pavement for such a long time, I am too old!

It was exhausting just for the time it lasted.

 

[AJsRandom]

Well, I had a bit of a welcome surprise today. My newest grandbaby arrived today, just a couple of weeks early, thank goodness. Not as early as his big sister, which is good news. He still had to be delivered emergency C-section, because DIL showed signs of preeclampsia again. His name is Adonis, and he is pretty good-sized. He's on a CPAP until they're sure he can breathe on his own, and gets to spend time in the NICU. I imagine it'll be quite a few days until Lena gets to see him, and I sure hope she treats him better than my #1 treated my #2 when they were young.

 

[AJsRandom]

Here he is!

 

[Carla minicooper452]

Welcome Adonis! That's wonderful news Ane.

I remember having to sit down on the floor with "my boys" too, Sheri, and try to figure out what they "needed" at any given time. Always the puzzle. Sometimes they knew and other times they had no idea. God Bless you and your patience. You too Lynnie.

 

[FormbyGirl]

Ane!!!!! Congratulations what a lovely page. I am so happy for you. Adonis when I was growing up, it meant the most handsome man around. He is living up to his name already

 

[breoni]

Sherri, thank you for the explanation and diagram of the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown. I didn't know the difference before. But that is helpful in understanding.

Ane, congrats on your newest family member! Yay!

I'm back from my DC trip. We have had a lot of severe thunder storms and tornado watches/warnings. So my flight was delayed a bit. But I ended up sitting next to a sweet young lady of Indian descent. Her parents had an arranged marriage. She was now in her 30s and her parents were trying to arrange a marriage to a nice Indian boy (preferably a doctor), and she was having none of it. Ha. She's an occupational therapist and said she works with too many doctors to want to be married to one! She was cracking me up.

Glad that tomorrow is Friday! Hope you all have a great day!

 

[Firstoscartgrouch]

That graphic goes back to Austin around 4 or 5 and is most likely outdated, and newer ones might be found, but it helped us so much. Every single new contact austin had would get a package from me (think teachers at start of year) with a small introduction to him, this chart, a couple others that might help, his faces charts, some teachers that used it had wonderful results with him, some teachers that never even read it had disastrous years with him. Some even vice versa.

 

[msbrad]

Congratulations Ane!!! He is beautiful and love the pictures.
m

 

[AJsRandom]

Thank you everyone for your kindness. I believe Adonis is headed home today. Time for Lena to put on her big girl pullups, lol!

What's everyone got planned for this weekend? Tomorrow we are going to a Chinese Festival at our local botanical garden then shopping. Sunday will be relatively quiet, with just church.