I love being on CT's. I find them super motivating. It's like a constant stream of inspiration really. I've hit my maximum capacity for CT work, but I'm always tempted when I see a call from a designer I love. I've been on CT's for most of the time I've been scrapping so it's hard to think of a time when I wasn't scrapping under some sort of deadline. But that is really motivating for me to make pages. Working for a variety of designers with different styles helps keep things fresh and interesting. I also work for two teams that are more story and process based (i.e. not kit designers) They can be challenging, but very rewarding because I'm often telling deeper stories with those projects.
To answer your questions, for me having deadlines is motivating. I totally see how that's not the case for everybody, but it's something I've gotten used to. I've worked out systems to help me know what is due when etc. Some teams work way ahead, sometimes months ahead, so those are easy to plan for. But sometimes you have a designer who needs something by the next day. That can be stressful, but some people work better under pressure. In digi there is a pretty quick turnaround. Like Michelle said, you only download what you want to and have time to work with.
If I really don't feel like scrapping one week, like I'm sick or something, then I don't. If I don't feel like scrapping from lack of motivation, I generally try to push through and see what happens. Sometimes you just need a break though and most designers are understanding. They're not drill sergeants
If I don't like kit colors... well that one I have a lot to say on actually. Kit designing is cyclical. You know that certain times of year you're going to have seasonal or themed kits to work with. I have a reeeaaalllyyy hard time in Spring because there is not a lot of pastel and Easter eggs in my everyday life, lol. So a lot of times I'll take the more neutral papers and allies from a kit and make a page that's off-theme. Or I'll take a school kit and scrap about my own childhood. Fall and Winter kits can be problematic because I like in a tropical climate. So whenever I go anywhere with pretty fall colors I hoard them like a crazy person until the Fall kits roll around again so I'll have something to scrap. I also use *ironic snowflakes* on beach LO's sometimes. My family sends me pictures whenever they get snow, so I'll scrap those too. I have been known to tell my husband we need to vacation somewhere cold so I'll have something to scrap. (See how hard I work for my CT's? LOL) I know this is WAY too much information probably, but you asked
As far as not feeling like you're good enough, we have all felt that way. I'm quite sure I've put some real clunkers out there in the world that probably made the kit designers shake their heads wondering what was she thinking? It happens to everybody. I think a certain amount of self-doubt is pretty common in anyone pursuing creative endeavors.
I think if you wanted to join a CT you totally could! Every designer is looking for something different, so I'm sure you could find one that's a good fit for you. But if you're fine just doing your own thing, that's great too. It's not everybody's thing.
Edit:
This is why I love being on CT's.
...Note: definitely not fishing for validation here
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