For All the Mothers who have Lost a Child

FormbyGirl

FormbyGirl

Sugar Cookie : GingerScraps Praise
This is for you. Mother's Day is especially hard for you and my love goes out to you all.

BEING A MOTHER WHO HAS LOST A CHILD
There’s an order that life is supposed to follow.
An order of breaths we are supposed to take,
as if we are passing a torch from one generation to the next.

And our torch is supposed to go out before our child’s flame is extinguished.

We are supposed to watch them take their first breath.
But not their last.

We are supposed to hear the thud-thud of their heart when it starts beating.
But never the silence when it stops.

That heart that we once carried inside of us. That breath that we gave them. That life that we kept safe, protected.

So when the order of life is disrupted,
when their torch goes out before yours,
it is as if you too have been robbed of your breath
and as if your heart has stopped beating as well.

There is nothing that can make it less painful.
You would happily blow out your flame if it meant theirs could burn.
But you can’t. Even though that’s how it should be.

So all you can do is carry them inside you -
like you did once before.

Except now they have to stay in your heart forever.
And though it hurts,
just know that they are safe there.

They are protected.
Because a mother’s love is unending.
Because it burns forever with every breath you take and
with every beat your heart makes.

Because a mother’s love
is a flame
that can never
be extinguished.
🧡

Becky Hemsley 2023
 
AJsRandom said:
Thank you, Lynnie. I had a stillborn son, lost at 39 weeks gestation. <3
Click to expand...
A long time ago, I wrote this for a friend:
I never had a chance to leave
My handprints here and there,
I never had a chance to see
The light and breathe the air...
Yet I know I've left my special mark
On your heart and memory
And when you see small handprints
You will always think of me.
 
Just now seeing this, Thank you Lynnie, I lost a daughter & grandson in a terrible car crash. My life has never been the same, I still have bad days, but more good days as time goes on. My other children & grandchildren have kept me going. I did get help from a support group, and I recommend it for anyone who has to go through loosing a child or grandchild. The group I went to was https://www.compassionatefriends.org/ , it is sometimes easier to talk to people who have been through it, some friends and family just don't say the right things sometimes. And it is good to have someone you can relate with & they can relate to you. I have had deeper conversations with ladies in the group, that I just wasn't able to with family & friends. It helped me so much. They also have an online group, if you need to talk with someone 24/7. So if you need to talk with someone please contact them. They saved me in the earlier days when I was in a bad place. There is no pain greater than the lost of a child. My heart breaks for all the parents who have gone through this. I wish no parent had to ever go through it, but in the real world it happens everyday.
 
I just noticed this post. 🫣 Thank you for the kind words.
I lost my then 20-year-old daughter 5 years ago due to a traffic accident. My life will never be the same, and I've been changed as well. There are bad and good days. But the good days have the upper hand now as time has gone by. Fewer tears, but the loss of having her not here with me becomes greater each year she's gone. I sometimes wonder what she would look like and what her life would be like. Would she have achieved everything she had planned for herself?
Like Alta said, you don't wish this kind of heartache on anyone. Alas, it happens all over the world, and more than you think. 😞
 
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