Do your (young) kids have chores?

JustTrace

JustTrace

New member
My son (14) does the dishes every night, (we have a dishwasher) except if we have company and then I help him. He never complains and he does a great job most times. (sometimes he rushes and misses stuff on pots). He is obsessed with keeping his room cleaned as well.

SO many people tell me "You are SO lucky." or "Wow, how impressive that he does that!" I'm thinking, "what are you talking about, don't your kids do chores?"

I grew up with a mom who started work when I was 15. Even before she worked, we had chores to do every weekend to "earn our keep" Is this now a thing of the past?

My one friend has FOUR kids between the ages of 25 (yes he still is at home) and 11. NONE of them do anything at home. She is always complaining that she has so much to do but she really doesn't tell them to pitch in. I have suggested she get her kids to help her and she looks at me like my head has fallen off.
 
My kids (ages 7 and 9) have chores, but most of the chores are more "when I ask" than a set thing. For instance, both boys have to keep their rooms clean (though not willingly like yours!!) and put their dishes in the sink (although they need almost daily reminders - will they every just DO IT!) One of their chores is to unload the dishwasher. But I am the one who runs the dishwasher and I don't run it every day, so when I tell them it is ready, they do it. Same thing with feeding the dog. When the bowl is empty, if they are around, I will have them do it.
They used to have a chore sheet, but we have gotten away from that. I should resurrect it. They tend to keep their rooms cleaner when we are being good about the sheet...
 
My 4 year old is in charge of making sure that our dog always has food and water in her bowl and my 10 year old is in charge of walking the trash down to our dumpster (which is at my aunts house next door.) They share a room so they are both in charge of keeping it cleaned up and bringing me their dirty clothes on the day I do laundry. Otherwise I do the rest of the house cleaning unless I ask them to pitch in... Sometimes I ask them to help me dust or vacuum but if I do, I'll pay them for it!
 
My boys are 14 & 16...they sure do have chores! Every day, they switch off putting away dishes & doing litter boxes. They take turns taking out the trash and are responsible for keeping their bedroom & bathroom clean. They also help cook dinner at times. They are real gentlemen and open doors for people, always open my car door and carry things that are heavy for me.

I think it's good to teach kids responsibility so that they will be responsible adults.
 
My kids are 17, 14, 12, & 10. I used to have them share several cleaning jobs and rotate each week. But I realized that my 12 year old (10 then!) was by far the best at every cleaning job and if I wanted something extra done, I tended to ask her to do it. That didn't seem fair. I found a website called choremonster.com. It allows you to assign points for jobs and rewards for different point levels. It's really for younger kids, but it works as a reward system so that I can reward the kids who are doing the most. It doesn't punish the ones who are busy with marching band, gymnastics, etc. They just don't get a shopping trip! You can put in your own rewards. My youngest usually chooses to stay up later than anyone else. My 14 year old son really wants a video game right now that is out of his price range so he just emptied every trash can in the house and got upset when I told him he didn't need to vacuum because his rock-star cleaning sister had already done it. I love not nagging them, but I feel a little inadequate as a mom for needing a website to help me!
 
I agree Tam!!! My kids are also taught to say Please and Thank you (my DH is a huge stickler for manners!) and they are both pretty good remembering. I want my kids to be able to be responsible and think to do their own chores so they aren't freaking slobs when they move out! :blush

Adam is pretty much a neat freak in his OWN space (ie room) because that's where he spends most of his time and his room is a bit smaller than his sisters. (he got first choice when we moved and gave her the bigger room). He tends to organize everything (that's the Aspie in him although I hate using that to explain things) but yet, his school binder is a bloody nightmare! LOL.

Isis is pretty good at cleaning but she tends to just stuff things away. But she's only 6 so I don't care as long as she's getting the basics!!!

When we eat at my FILs or my brother's or even at friends, my two always take their plate to the kitchen and put them where the host asks. Adam ALWAYS offers to help and people are usually surprised at that. Makes me feel proud.
 
Oh, and don't even get me started on having a babysitter leave crap all over...lol..I"m not anal or a clean freak but that drives me crazy!
 
Yes, we have assigned chores that the kids have to do without being told (8 years old and 5 years old). These chores are what earn them their allowance. If they have to be told to do them, they get less allowance. They are responsible for feeding the dogs and letting them outside (they alternate days for this), picking up dog poop (they alternate weeks for this), keeping their rooms clean, and making their beds. They get $4/week for allowance. $3 goes into savings and $1 goes to them for free money.

Then we have additional "chores" that are just being part of the family chores. They have to clear their spots after every meal, empty their backpacks after school, give me important paperwork, bring their lunch bags to the kitchen, bring in groceries from the car...

We also have bonus chores. If we have them do something big like help rake the yard, pick up sticks, clean up after a big project, we will give them bonus money that they are free to use as they choose.

Oddly enough we have started a Florida/Vacation mason jar for the kids. We told them they had to contribute to the jar. In order for us to go on vacation it has to be full. ;) They choose to put most of their free money in the vacation jar! Don't worry, we will go on the vacation no matter what and make sure the jar is full for them! ;)

My daughter is too smart though. She received $5 from her Grumps, and she asked me to cash it out in pennies for her to put in the vacation jar! :)
 
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My daughter is too smart though. She received $5 from her Grumps, and she asked me to cash it out in pennies for her to put in the vacation jar
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Clever girl!!! :clap:

We give our kids' allowance too but it's monthly. Adam gets 40.00 month (he's 14) and he does a lot for it. (he also cleans dog poop and feeds/waters the dog :) ) He is required to put half in the bank each month. He can use the other for lunch for school or to buy snacks etc..whatever he wants within reason.

Isis gets 15.00/month but she is only 6. ;) She's happy with that though for now thank goodness. All of her money goes into her Belle piggy bank.
 
We only have my stepson (13) for a few weeks out of the year, but he has always had to keep his room clean and help clear away after dinner. Every summer I usually add in something new for him to be in charge of, so now he does his own laundry and empties the dishwasher. During the summers I'm pretty lax on weekly cleaning stuff, but he helps with that stuff whenever I asked. Last summer I taught him how to clean his bathroom. He still has to be reminded to pick up his stuff sometimes, but I usually just walk past his room and say something rude like "I know it's just a figment of my imagination... your bed really is made right?" and he goes right in to make it.

I think it's really important to set very clear expectations. My parents would say "clean your room", but not tell me what that meant. My version of "clean" was different. So I've always told him that his room was "clean" when his bed is made, the blinds are open, the floor is clear of junk, towels are hung up in the bathroom, laundry is in the bin, and his cello stuff is in the closet (so the cat won't get into it). I don't think that's a lot to ask since it takes about five minutes every day to take care of that.

This is stuff that my husband and I have had many talks about. At his age, both of us had very adult responsibilities beyond the norm so we're always working on the balance between giving him life skills, but still letting him be the kid that we didn't get to be.

I also think that as women, we tend to take too much on ourselves sometimes and not let other people help us because we don't think they'll do it "our way or the "right way". A lot of times it's just faster to do it ourselves instead of taking the time to teach them how to do it. You can fall into that martyr habit, which is what it sounds like your friend is doing.
 
We have a clearly defined definition of a clean room in our house too! With my son (he's 5), I'll usually give him one task at time if he seems to be feeling overwhelmed with his room. :)

I'm not picky at all when anyone helps. My son has been on a cleaning the bathrooms and toilets kick (it's awesome), and I leave it how he does it even though it's not perfect. He did his best, so that truly is perfect to me! :)
hclappy said:
We only have my stepson (13) for a few weeks out of the year, but he has always had to keep his room clean and help clear away after dinner. Every summer I usually add in something new for him to be in charge of, so now he does his own laundry and empties the dishwasher. During the summers I'm pretty lax on weekly cleaning stuff, but he helps with that stuff whenever I asked. Last summer I taught him how to clean his bathroom. He still has to be reminded to pick up his stuff sometimes, but I usually just walk past his room and say something rude like "I know it's just a figment of my imagination... your bed really is made right?" and he goes right in to make it.

I think it's really important to set very clear expectations. My parents would say "clean your room", but not tell me what that meant. My version of "clean" was different. So I've always told him that his room was "clean" when his bed is made, the blinds are open, the floor is clear of junk, towels are hung up in the bathroom, laundry is in the bin, and his cello stuff is in the closet (so the cat won't get into it). I don't think that's a lot to ask since it takes about five minutes every day to take care of that.

This is stuff that my husband and I have had many talks about. At his age, both of us had very adult responsibilities beyond the norm so we're always working on the balance between giving him life skills, but still letting him be the kid that we didn't get to be.

I also think that as women, we tend to take too much on ourselves sometimes and not let other people help us because we don't think they'll do it "our way or the "right way". A lot of times it's just faster to do it ourselves instead of taking the time to teach them how to do it. You can fall into that martyr habit, which is what it sounds like your friend is doing.
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We do commission around here. My boys are 11 and 5. The 11 year old has some chores that he gets paid for: cleaning his bathroom, cleaning up after dinner, taking out trash, entering coke codes (little codes on coke tops...my hubby drinks a lot of coke and powerade). If he does them he gets paid for them, if he doesn't he doesn't get paid. If he does them all with out complaining he gets an extra dollar at the end of the week. He can earn up to $7 a week, we pay him on Sundays. He has three jars...Spend, Save and Share...so some goes to "tithe", savings and then spend money

The 5 year old gets $1 for helping gather trash cans on trash day, helping put up his laundry, and other small jobs. He gets paid when he does the job. He has a big jar in the kitchen he puts his dollars in each time. We let him take his dollars and buy a toy when it gets full.

We also have chores that are just part of the family chores like dishwasher, picking up toys, helping fold laundry, dusting, vacuuming etc... :)
 
Mine dont but I am so glad you asked this question because they are 7 and 4 going on 8 and 5 and I think its probably time. Im divorced though and during the school year they are only with me one weekend a month and Monday thru Thursday nights so it might be hard to fit them in on a regular basis? Any suggestions?
 
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