dodgeladee
New member
The other day I was reading a post and thought "I don't want to post because it might sound stupid and you can't read tone in print." Does that happen to you? What makes you pause from replying to a post?
Are you ever afraid to post in the forum?
- Thread starter dodgeladee
- Start date
AJsRandom
Well-known member
I usually post if someone posts something I can commiserate with, like your "staring at the page" post. If it's not something I can relate to, I usually don't post.
If you're worried that something might sound stupid, you could always preface it with, "I don't mean to sound stupid, but . . ."
If you're worried that something might sound stupid, you could always preface it with, "I don't mean to sound stupid, but . . ."
dodgeladee
New member
Good point!
Milfordmasseya
New member
Always. I'm very over self conscious and unsure of everything so I've typed this three times and actually posting my fourth reply
Firstoscartgrouch
GingerScraps Site Creative Team
My huge hesitation is spelling, grammar and word usage. I struggle with all three dud to my brain injury and I often miss using the right thing the right way, and people can get snippy at me. That hurts.
dodgeladee
New member
I get it. I often type it, reread it, type it again, delete, retype. I always think, are people going to get my humor in this situation?
dodgeladee
New member
I'm sorry people are snippy about your word usage, etc. That is totally uncool. My husband has a hard time spelling, and often, he makes me read over his emails to make sure they are the right word. I understand. Who needs snippy people?
AJsRandom
Well-known member
Who does need snippy people? I try very hard not to judge someone, especially how they come across online. You never know if they've had a bad day. If you're unsure, you can always ask them to clarify, I know I wouldn't mind that.
Cherrylej
New member
Sometimes. There are times when I type a reply but then I delete them because they may sound good to me but they might not to others especially topics that are sensitive. But sometimes when I'm pretty sure of my thoughts, I post them.
dodgeladee
New member
I can always appreciate people who are thoughtful. I think I do this too.
dodgeladee
New member
I have to realize sometimes that not everyone learned manners when they were young. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. You never know how someone is doing on the other end of the internet.Who does need snippy people? I try very hard not to judge someone, especially how they come across online. You never know if they've had a bad day. If you're unsure, you can always ask them to clarify, I know I wouldn't mind that.
FormbyGirl
Sugar Cookie : GingerScraps Praise
That is terrible - it is bullying! If I ever make you feel that way, tell me off. Perhaps you could add a line in your siggie that says "My spelling, grammar and words might not be perfect, but my friends love me anyway
)Same here, I have such a dry sense of humour it often sails over people's heads. I bought 60 rolls of toilet paper for a wedding shower game where you make a wedding dress. When I arrived at the house, the hostess said "Why did you bring so much toilet paper?" I said, "I thought you might need some!" She said "Oh no, I think I have plenty." Totally took it wrong.
I'm sorry people are snippy about your word usage, etc. That is totally uncool. My husband has a hard time spelling, and often, he makes me read over his emails to make sure they are the right word. I understand. Who needs snippy people?
No-one needs snippy people at all, especially not in such a friendly place.
Who does need snippy people? I try very hard not to judge someone, especially how they come across online. You never know if they've had a bad day. If you're unsure, you can always ask them to clarify, I know I wouldn't mind that.
That's good to know.
Same here.
FormbyGirl
Sugar Cookie : GingerScraps Praise
I think I have also found that social media appears to have blunted people's sense of kindness and thoughtfulness. Everyone thinks they have a right to critique you, harshly! They will tell you that your faith, political opinions, comments, etc. are 'stupid,' and you are an idiot for not thinking their way. It is downright unpleasant. You cannot have an intelligent debate anymore. Instead of having a conversation that is about learning what has made people believe things they do, and then making a considered, but polite response, there is just unpleasant rhetoric. It is exhausting.
FormbyGirl
Sugar Cookie : GingerScraps Praise
Sherri, this REALLY bothers me. Please come back here and get a hug if people do that again, no matter where or when.
Jill
Sugar Cookie : GingerScraps Praise Team
This is, as you already know Lynnie, one of the reasons I do not do Facebook
quilter
Active member
That hurts me, that this has happened to you. I think there are a lot of people whose superior attitudes are bolstered by the anonymity of our social media society. There are those that forget that what they type can have a total different interpretation without the facial cues and voice inflections.
I too suffer from the I'm going to sound stupid feelings, I've practically worn out my backspace key on this message. I grew up with constant criticism and it's a tough thing to overcome. I'm easily intimidated because of it, add my quirky sense of humor... and there goes the backspace key again. I also keep in mind that English is not everyone's first language, nor is it the same English.
Jill
Sugar Cookie : GingerScraps Praise Team
I LOVE your quirky sense of humour Jeanne! Aussies in general have a more laid back and weird sense of humour and I try to keep that in mind when making jokes, and try to analyse how something I joke about might sound to people from other parts of the world.
quilter
Active member
This is, as you already know Lynnie, one of the reasons I do not do Facebook
I totally get that Jill. I find I use it less and less and basically for my Gingerscraps and quilting groups. I have too many things I truly love to do and I'm just not nosey enough to want to know what people are doing every minute of their day. Here goes my backspace key again........people can be anything they want to be on Facebook and impress a lot of people by how wonderful they are...my son spends a horrible amount of time on Facebook impressing people with what a "wonderful" father he is...out of 1000 "friends" who seriously has 1000 friends?....I can't even look at it....I'm going to get off my FB soapbox
FormbyGirl
Sugar Cookie : GingerScraps Praise
Well, that's just stupid!! (JUST KIDDING )
Seriously, I think it is the nicest, sweetest, gentlest people who get bullied.
) Seriously, I think it is the nicest, sweetest, gentlest people who get bullied.
FormbyGirl
Sugar Cookie : GingerScraps Praise
This is, as you already know Lynnie, one of the reasons I do not do Facebook
I know.... I think about quitting Facebook, but I have such communities on there that I would regret losing.
A classic example of being bullied on social media was in a private group related to my HS Reunion. Two of the committee members were quite unkind. Our reunion was the October after David died, almost a full year. David died in November 2016, so around Feb 2016, you can imagine I was still pretty fragile. I had not got out the letters to my classmates yet and one of them started prodding, which was okay. I needed to be kept on track. I got off my duff and worked on the mailing list. I was getting updates in four different places, two groups, private messages and emails, and combining three separate printed lists. There were over 600 addresses. I felt I was making good progress, got the mailing done in April, but they were still getting address updates. I would sometimes wait a week before sending them out, so I could do them all at once, plus I was still feeling a little funky and didn't always feel like doing something right away. Well, the feathers hit the fan and they were saying things like "I don't know what is so hard about this," "You don't seem to be taking things seriously," and my favourite "What are you doing with all your spare time - repealing Obamacare?" I don't even know where the last one came from - no one reading my facebook would know my political leanings at all, I am very neutral. They asked if they could do anything to help move this along.... I said it would be helpful if they could consolidate all addresses and send them typewritten in an email. They started in on me "I don't know what is so hard about that..... etc." I was really distressed about what was going on and in tears. I private messaged two other people in the group and asked what was I doing wrong here - I did not see. Unfortunately it was to the whole group, I somehow mixed up my windows. When I realized what I had done, I was a little relieved and went back in to say "I did not intend this to go to the group, but I am glad it did. I think it is better if I am just not part of this group. I will still wholeheartedly support the reunion, but I don't think this part of it has been very pleasant." Both of them gave me a thumbs up, so I just quit! I stayed with the other two, doing all the stuff I had said I would and being very active, but am still floored by how childish and petty they were being. Bear in mind that I had taken up this project, instituted a non-profit, purchased a business license, created a bank account, done all the letters and a dozen other time consuming things. They had done NOTHING except get a few addresses.
I'd blame it on Social Media - but I seem to remember they were like that in high school, too
Jill
Sugar Cookie : GingerScraps Praise Team
I find myself wondering what it was you backspaced out, Jeanne
FormbyGirl
Sugar Cookie : GingerScraps Praise
Me too!
I find myself wondering what it was you backspaced out, Jeanne
quilter
Active member
You two crack me up hehe
Pachimac
Active member
Sometimes, but not because I'm embarrassed, but because sometimes it gets really slow in the forum and I am afraid my post will just hang all alone...
FormbyGirl
Sugar Cookie : GingerScraps Praise
It is definitely a fear of mine, too. I love to start new threads, and see if I can liven things up, but I am really afraid of seeing my one little post linger, forgotten and alone
I try to comment on everything everyone posts, no matter what!
FormbyGirl
Sugar Cookie : GingerScraps Praise
Hey, Jill, she didn't answer - we should start imagining what she backspaced out Maybe it had something to do with how smart and marvelous and good looking and young we are? Naahhhh, she would have just left that
Maybe it had something to do with how smart and marvelous and good looking and young we are? Naahhhh, she would have just left that I find myself wondering what it was you backspaced out, Jeanne
quilter
Active member
Hey, Jill, she didn't answer - we should start imagining what she backspaced out
That goes without saying Jill & Lynnie!!! And I would never backspace that out of my comments or my brain, but you gave me a wonderful giggle!
No, when I get too close to my feelings or my opinions I tend to panic and backspace them out. I actually had very personal journaling ready for my last Survivor layout, but it was too maudlin for the glorious magic I experienced that day.
I was bullied my entire life by the person who should have been nurturing me. 47 years as a matter of fact. it's hard to develop self-esteem when you are reminded of every shortcoming and mocked for things you can't control as a child or as an adult for that matter. my mother verbally & emotionally abused me right up until she died in 1999. I wasn't thin, even when I was thin, and I wasn't cute, and I couldn't conform to her judgmental standards. I still carry the scars...
Right now I would like to backspace, but I'm not going to...
Pachimac
Active member
I am so glad that you didn't backspace! Congratulations for being the brave woman you are! I am so sorry that you were treated like that by the one person you think would support you!
Pachimac
Active member
It is definitely a fear of mine, too. I love to start new threads, and see if I can liven things up, but I am really afraid of seeing my one little post linger, forgotten and alone
When I was at another forum, I had 10,000 posts before it finally died - so I'm totally a Chatty Cathy. However, scrap forums have really died and there's not a lot of chatter going on in the forums anymore - anywhere. I wish it could be resurrected, but I fear Facebook and Instagram have taken over the sharing of lives and layouts. I remember regularly getting 20+ comments on a layout, and coming back to a forum with hundreds of new posts to read. It was AMAZING!!!
I have tried to start chatting, but it just never seems to go very far anymore!
FormbyGirl
Sugar Cookie : GingerScraps Praise
I'm with Susan. That was a very brave thing you did and I am so proud of you for not backspacing. If I could wrap you up in confidence and hug you, I would. What happened to you is soul crushing. Everyone deserves encouragement and you are talented and beautiful. Even if you have picked the very best picture you ever found of yourself, you are beautiful.