Just Breathe- By Ginger

GingerScraps

GingerScraps

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I wrote this in 2005. After a long battle with Endrometrosis I had to have a total Hysterectomy. All removed. my uterus, my ovaries, tubes, cervix, and lots of surrounding tissue. As well, as bladder and bowel repair. It was a very hard time in my life!!
The words Just Breathe got me through it. If I was unable to do anything else... All I needed to do was

Just Breathe

Curled up in a ball,
A fire within my womb.

I know there's something wrong,
Surrounded by feelings of doom.

Doctors, nurses, surgery,
Shots and pills and prayer.

I am so sorry to tell you, IT is everywhere.

Sitting in my hospital gown, all it quite and still-
The Holy Spirit surrounds me-

I completely trust His will.

Like so many times before, He whispers in my ear-
The two simple words that I need to hear.

The nurses are talking,

She's only 26. What a shame.
Someone calls my name.

It is time-
I drift to sleep-
Not sure if I will awake.

That would be OK-
Ive had all that I can take.

Cold, bright, shaking, fear,
Startled I open my eyes.

A tear rolls down my cheek-
A part of me dies.

I close my eyes and meditate on the words he has given to me.

JUST BREATHE

Ginger- 2005
 
Fantastic! You are an artist. :sculpt: Gave me chills and brought a tear to my eye. Sorry you had to go through that. I couldn't imagine how hard that would be.
 
Beautifully sad Ginger. I too struggled with Endrometrosis, but aparently not as badly as yours. I was misdiagnosed early on so I dealt with the pain for several years till my hubby finally convinced me to go to a specialist. (small town girl, never had a gynacolagist). The doc guessed it on symptoms alone. I panicked. We had been trying to have a baby for nearly 2 years, would it mean I never would? Fotunately the surgery went well and they said I'd still be able to have a baby. 7 more months of that horribly disappointing period coming around and finally I was pregnant. We've been very blessed. My heart goes out to you Ginger. Beautiful poem to express yourself.
 
Ginger, that's a beautiful poem. It gave me little chills and goosey-bumps to read that about you. Thank you for sharing.
 
Oh, wow. I'm sitting here bawling at work. I'm so sorry that happened, but so glad you trusted God thru it all. So glad He was there for you and you knew it. Thanks for sharing. Wow. wow.
 
Oh My! It brought a tear to my eye, and a lump in my throat! I wish people would quit making fun of me for having so many kids.... I've had 9 misscarriages, and I know it's God's will, but I am always thankful that I am able to have children. Whenever I am feeling down, I shall come back and read your poem. It means so much to me, thank you for sharing your heart!!!
 
Amazing poem, Ginger. You put into words what I felt when I was going through my female problems. I can't imagine being 26 and having to go through it :( I was 36 with mine. (((hugs)))
 
wow... so very sad sweetie. I'm struggling with a pelvic prolapse right now that might end in surgery... who knows what they'd take or leave.

you have given beautiful words to hold on to, thank you!
 
OMGosh Ginger. So sorry to hear what you went through. Thanks for sharing that gorgeous poem which brought tears to my eyes. My DIL recently gave birth to their first child a precious little girl. And towards the end of her labor, she really started to lose it. I know she was scared so I stepped up and took over for my son and told her to look at me in a very loving tone and said, "just breathe". Pick something to focus on. She looked straight into my eyes and I said, let's breathe together. Gosh those lamaze days came in handy once again. What a moment to share and I'm such a baby as I well up again just thinking about it. God bless you Ginger!
 
OMGosh Ginger! Such a moving poem! I too can relate with my own diagnosis of endometriosis in 2001-2002. I've also had a DNC to remove a uterine cyst. I was fortunate to be blessed with two pregnancies; the 1st took me 12 months to get pregnant and the 2nd took me 17 months. My mom had a hysterectomy when she was 37 because she had fibroid tumors that attached to her intestines and bladder. So I'm obviously not in-the-dark when it comes to female "issues".

I'm so sorry to hear your experience! But I'm glad to hear that He was there for you when you needed Him the most! He is the true blessing in our lives!
 
You are a writer Ginger, this is awesome. It is sad, but awesome writing. I also had to have a full hysterectomy last year and am still dealing with all of the emotional stuff that goes along with it. I had a cancerous mass covering my left ovary and a full hysterectomy was the solution. Thank you for sharing your story. I know that prayer goes a long way doesn't it?
 
OH! MY! A friend of mine went through that whole process too - I had it too but through the Grace of the Lord - I have healed myself naturally thanks to my naturopath & prayers of family & close friends :)
 
What a beautiful and heartfelt poem, Ginger. I can relate to serious illness at a young age, but no one can really understand the experience you're living through unless they're living the same one. I am deeply sorry you had to endure such a painful illness and especially at a time in your life when you should have been joyfully experiencing the excitement and opportunities of life as a young adult. A tragic story that you so eloquently expressed through words. It took courage to share this, as well. No doubt you are a STRONG person and your faith got you through this. You are in my prayers...these experiences never really go away...it takes a long time to accept losses such as this, but I am happy you were able to get through the physical pain and all of the emotion that surrounds that. God bless you, always.
 
What a touching poem, Ginger. <3You are very talented. Can't go wrong trusting God. I love your profile pic, BTW!
 
Wow... I'm speechless.... have few friends dealing with this disease... do you mind if I share this with them?
 
I'm so sorry. Endo is awful and no one wants to acknowledge that it even exists. I suffered, too, and had my hysterectomy back in 2005. I'm much older than you were. Now my daughter is suffering. She's only 27. She found a wonderful doctor in Atlanta that she(we) traveled to see in December and he performed her second Endo surgery. She knows she'll need more, but he was wonderful. In March, both of us will go to Washington, DC, for a the Endo Awareness Walk and other activities.

Here is a link to a blog post that she just shared this week.

https://www.jenniferjasonwood.com/ending-the-silence-speaking-up-about-endometriosis/
 
Very moving and personal. Thank you for sharing. I'm a publish poet and I love when I can read other's words and connect. It's awesome to find more poetry writers and lovers in the digi-scrap world.
 
Thank you for sharing your words and experience with us. I watched my eldest daughter deal with having an Endo diagnosis, corrective surgeries, trying to have a baby and only being able to carry him for 24 weeks. With God's help and the doctors, my grandson survived and is perfect today. My daughter lived only 3-1/2 years following his birth. I have to trust that there is a master plan, and I tell myself daily to "just breathe". Sharing our stories brings us all a bit closer, so thank you!
 
Oh Ginger it made me cry, very moving poem. Also I'm struggling with endometriosis, not as badly as yours. Past years I was through a laparoscopy and small surgery because of the endometriosis. One of the most traumatic experiences in my life. I cannot imagine the pain you were gone through, but makes me sad. You are an amazing, incredible strong woman. Thank you so much for sharing your heart
 
Wow, thank you all for your kind words! I never remember to come read this old thread. It seems like a lifetime ago, so many things have changed in my life since writing this poem.
I still haven't ever gotten back into writing, I do miss it though! Maybe someday soon I will be able to write again.

Sending all of you that have been effected by endo a BIG HUG <3 <3
 
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