Ok here is mine!!!
If I only had one more...... ---Title and image are linked!
Journaling says -- no matter how many one more things I have, they will never fill the hole you left. Nothing or no one can ever take your place. I am blessed that I had the chance to have the most amazing father in law on the planet. I miss you so much and some days I wish I could tell you one of the things the children have done and I pick up the phone to call you and I realize you wont answer. Thank you for showing me love and calling me your daughter! If I could say one more thing to you I would say I love you Dad!
Little journaling says -- one more day, hour, smile, song, hug, minute, prayer, car ride, I love you, laugh, family vaction, dinner, photo, phone call, sermon, memory, time watching you with my babies, chance to hear you call me daughter, dance, pat on the back and good job
Made using *Dear Dad* By Connie Prince
Wife to 1 Great Husband
Mom to 3 Awesome Girls and 1 Terrific Boy
n week 1 I depicted how my life’s journey started when I married my best friend, he took my life from black and white to color the day we said “I Do”. In week 2 I shared my most magical possession, “Love” the love my husband and I share for each other and how it has the power to help us through the journey of life. Just as Dorothy had her Ruby Slippers to protect her from the Wicked Witch, “our love” has the power to protect us from the obstacles that life throws our way. In my journaling I wrote of how “our love” has to power to create new life. As my husband and I traveled down the road we were blessed with 2 children very quickly after we were married. While we are very lucky to have our 2 children, I have always wanted a bigger family. God had other plans for me; a harsh reality that I am still struggling with. A reality that I constantly am telling myself I’m okay with, but really there are nights that I go to bed thinking of what could have been. In some small why I hope that this page helps me to heal slightly and come to terms with the reality that my body just won’t allow me to have another child. This week I would like to share a bit more about the journey my husband and I are on.
The Journaling reads:
If I only had…
…the chance to have you another child. The journey I am traveling is one with many twist and turns. There have been ups and there have been downs, and I am so lucky to have “our love” to help lead me though these obstacles. My journey down the ‘yellow brick’ road has been fun, exciting, scary, and lonely at times. Children have always been part of my master plan, and after only a few short months of being married my husband and I found out that I was expecting. It was one of those moments in life that you never forget. I ran out of the bathroom at 7 in the morning, tears of joy in my eyes, as I showed my husband the pregnancy test. We were over joyed and began planning for the arrival of our little one. At about 27 weeks along I started to have complications; I began to go into labor, which by the grace of God the doctors were able to stop, but I was put onto strict bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. At 36 ½ weeks along I went into labor again, and through an emergency C-section delivered a beautiful healthy baby girl, “Jean Kelly”. I saw her only briefly before they rushed her out and my husband out of the operating room. I was told before they put me under that they may have to remove my uterus; I was bleeding, and they couldn’t stop it. Hours later I awoke from surgery to find that the doctors were able to stop the bleeding in time. It was days later when my husband final told me that I was minutes away from losing my uterus, and there were times during the surgery they weren’t sure I was going to make it. We cried together, but they were happy tears. I made it and we were going to be able to have more children; however I was told to wait 2-3 years before trying for a 2nd child. God had other plans, and 9 months later I became pregnant again. My husband and I were excited but very scared. Once again at about 27 weeks I was put on bed rest, and at 36 weeks the doctors had me scheduled for my C-section. Prior to the C-section my husband and I talked to the doctor, and we decided that it was not safe for me to become pregnant again. I was upset, but I knew it was the right call. I already felt guilty, thinking something bad was going to happen; I didn’t want to leave my children without a mother or my husband without a wife. We decided that we would have no more children after our son was born, and surgically had it taken care of during the C-section. It wasn’t an easy decision, but if I had to do it all over again I would make the same decision. Knowing in my heart I made the right decision still doesn’t stop me from wondering what might have been, and therefore if I had the chance to ask OZ for something I would tell him… “If I only had the chance to have another child”.
100% GS product used:Kit Paper
From Trixie Scarps: God Gave Me You
From Seatrout Scraps: Sweater WeatherKit Elements
Patterned & Solid Papers
From Seatrout Scraps:Big Shots Twice as Nice Templates (Modified)
My life is a struggle right now. Not that my life is by any means a tough life. I have an amazing family, a steady job, a place to call home, food on our table…but it's an inner struggle with myself.
I feel lately like I'm caught in the center of an emotional storm, constantly circling a drain. The fear that all my decisions will lead me to the wrong place and I will take the ones I love most with me.
There are so many transitions in my life right now. My oldest is entering those crucial teenage years. The years where they are learning hard lessons and you're trying like mad to keep them from screwing up. My youngest wants nothing to do with discovering who he is and if I just plug my ears and don't talk about it, maybe he'll stay like this forever.
I'm getting older every day and I feel like I'm just trying to survive instead of really truly living. I am closing a chapter in my life that is very hard for me to let go of. I still have a hard time believing they are gone, their stuff is gone, the house is gone…and in the process I feel like my childhood will be gone too.
My path seems blurry to me. I keep walking with the hope that everything will come into focus someday. If I only had a little CLARITY…
The Storyteller Kit by Pixelily Designs
Wild and Free Alpha Pack Add On by Connie Prince
Create a Fairytale Paper (FB Freebie) by Simple Girl Scraps
Project 2013: November Template (for scalloped edge) by Connie Prince
Font: Pea Shelby Raye
If i only had.. my mom back.. for one more day, she would be happy to see that I am with the same young man she met (and loved like her own son) so long ago. She would be so proud to see we went on to have successful careers and also see that we had 2 more children in addition to her 1st grandbaby(that she adored). If I only had my mom back...I could see the joy on her face when she dressed her grand daughters for their proms and weddings.I would so love seeing her spoil her 7 great grandchildren rotten(including a set of twin girls!).she would see that I inherited her crazy love of animals...and that I annoy my kids the way she did me.. If i had my mom back...I would tell her how I cried so often by myself with the trials that raising children can bring. That I could have used her advice and comfort that only a mother could give. My heartaches would have been easier in her arms. If only I had my "Mami" back for one more day ..I could hear that laugh again(which back then I thought was loud and boisterous) and it would be like music to me now .... written 10/30/13
Anne by KeystoneScraps
What Makes a Family GS March Monthly mix
Last edited by scrappinbella; 11-02-2013 at 02:29 PM. Reason: don't know what happened to the lo on first try
Image is linked to gallery and link is also here for safety sake! http://gallery.gingerscraps.net/show...7307&nocache=1
I was trying to think of some way to end “If I only had” for a few days when it came to me suddenly today. Halloween is not a day of joy or celebration for me. It is the annual reminder of losing my brother, Greg, in a tragic car accident after attending a Halloween party on Oct. 31, 1965.
For many years I have regretted that I never said goodbye to him that night as he left. I was being a brat and far too angry that he was leaving me home while he went to the party to even look at him as he left. I was sitting on the front stoop when he left, pouting. He said goodbye to me.... and I said nothing in return.
Not long after his curfew, the phone rang. My parents went off to answer the phone and were gone for some time. I have always had a vivid imagination, and talked to myself quite often. I said, you know, they are going to call you in there and tell you Greg is dead. And you are going to laugh. God forgive me, but I was actually laughing when they indeed called me into the kitchen and told me the horrible news. I shrank back into a corner, curling up in a tight ball, screamed and went into shock.
He was my protector in so many ways, more than I would have space or inclination to share here. And he was gone. Losing Greg was not all that happened. I lost my faith. Our minister came to the house to counsel us in our time of grief. I asked what every 12 year old would ask. WHY? His answer was not acceptable to me in the least. He told me that God had a car that needed work and Greg was such a good mechanic. I turned from him without saying a word and refused to go to church quite flatly.
Some years later, I happened to run in to Greg’s friend, who had been driving the car that fateful night. Even though part of me had thought of countless ways to hurt and kill the person that took Greg from me... after we spoke, I had no choice but to forgive him. He had already suffered enough pain and mental anguish for that tragic event that changed so many lives. I found that the act of forgiving that young man was something he not only needed, but I greatly needed for myself.
To this day, I can’t forgive myself for that very childish and selfish act on the last evening I saw Greg alive. I secretly blame myself for him not coming home because I had been so mean. And part of me is happy that he in fact got his wish... of never having to grow up. I will never stop wondering if things would have turn out differently if I only had said goodbye.
Story Time Templates (temp3) from Designs by Connie Prince
In The Hollow - Peter Add on from Keystone Scraps
Im Every Woman from Designs by Connie Prince
Life Is Grand Alpha Pack Add On from Designs by Connie PrinceAs of time of posting, all links are functioning properly! Let's hope they stay that way.
Credits: Best In Love by Pixelily Designs
If I only had a cause, I’d share it.
Since my MS diagnosis, by way of wanting to be my own advocate and live the best I can with this incurable disease, I’ve met a lot of other people who have it. Multiple Sclerosis is a special condition in that it treats every person it afflicts in a way especially for them. The only thing we all have in common is that the myelin covering and protecting the nerves in our brains and spines is damaged. Even that myelin damage is in different places that MS chooses just for each person. Yes, those are challenges that could have Murphy shaking in his boots. The only reason that “Murphy’s laws” get more credit for the chaotic unpredictability he injects into people’s lives is that MS has a more selective clientele; about 1% of the world’s population. That’s right, I’m that special.
If I took a funicular to the top of a mountain or motored my powerchair down a yellow brick road to an all-powerful source of wisdom or magic I’d ask about the cause of MS. I’d at least ask for a reason. If I only had a reason that our select group gets MS or a reason for some of the symptoms, I could bring that to the doctors and researchers to help their work on a cure. That’s a hang-up of mine. Everyone wants a cure, but without knowing the cause, how can a cure be permanent?
There are so many symptoms from the most common ones like exhausting fatigue and debilitating numbness in the hands and feet to the more progressive ones like the inability to walk or swallow. There are more and different sets of them affect each person to a different degree. “Oh great wizard,” just tell us why it happens. If the science guys knew the cause they could work better to make it stop. If we could all understand the reasons, we could deal with the symptoms better.
Right now that’s what I want; a big piece of information so we can take a giant step forward together instead of taking little steps backwards alone as the disease progresses.
If we only had a reason - If we only had a cure - If we only had a hope
Journaling says:I don’t wish for more time in the day, because I’ve got just the right amount. What I struggle with is what to do with it!
I would love to sleep and be well rested, but then I’d miss out on the awesomeness that is my children! And as much
as I love these cuties, they sure do make a mess. Can you believe that they want to eat THREE meals a day? I reallyget tired of cleaning up after them all day, but it must be done. I would also sometimes, just like some me time. I hate having to be an adult sometimes!
11 years ago I was a young and foolish girl Sure I got baggage of my parents who were divorced but otherwise I was happy and
cheerful unfortunately I met a wrong boy and my life got a whole different direction . After I had finally made the step to leave the boy I was so far away that I no longer dared to walk on the street / When I found out that I was pregnant of my son jamie
I put everything on everything damn overcome agoraphobia step by step and finally it whas successful. so far that I 'm even in went to the busy euro disney past year
In that relationship I often was told that I was not good there was so many things wrong with me I was fat was nothing and was just worthless. after
many years hearing that you going to believe it also . Then I also got sick afterwards so I can do not as much as other people from my age and that makes me think i am worthless I can put on a mask where i can be a cheerfull girls but behind that mask of me deep inside so I still feel worthless every day
If I only had back my selfesteem even a small bit so i learn to love myself again
If I only had the Force, it would make my day and raising a toddler much easier! I could use the powers of the force to keep my son from locking me out of a room, get him to take a nap, and have him place nice with the kitty all with the swipe of my finger. Instead of repeating over and over again, “Doyle don’t touch the door lock,” to “You don’t want to touch the door, you want to play with your toys.” and have him listen! It’s hard to reason with a 17 month old and the force would take all the frustration out of the situation! Instead of putting him down for his nap every thirty minutes because he won’t sleep, a wave of my fingers later and he would close his eyes! Instant sleep aide! And I could finally use the force to get Doyle to stop manhandling the cats! Finally my instructions would be Obeyed!
Wendy Tunison One small step paper and elements
cowgirl chic star element
Pixelily designs- spendor moment star element
Keystone Scraps- boys of summer glitter papers
take me to your leader papers and elements
Winter formal glitter scatter
leader of the club paper
rock the boat glitter paper