sorry if its long and confusing LOL I'm lost too

I've been a stay at home mom for the last 8 years, actually being a mom was really all I wanted to be, when I was little and I imagined my life I wanted to be a lawyer or psychologist, but even then I pictured myself having my children at my desk side or doing the June Cleaver thing full on family breakfast every morning. Life took me in a different direction I ended up studying design and getting pregnant in between, and dedicating my everyday to my babies, my husband, my family. I never finished college because time with my family was/is more important, and I knew we were going to be moving to the country where Graphic Design jobs are few and far between.

Anyways 8 years later, both kids will be in school. We are in a place where it is a need for me to find a part time job, but here is my problem, I don't know what to do, I mean I know I can I know we need, but I feel like I wont be able to be there for my kids. I want to make sure my kids feel they are encouraged and supported.

I'm afraid of losing moments and time with them, right now I am only applying for jobs that will be during their time at school, but I'm afraid I wont get hired because of that limited time available....

blah I think I'm just nervous for them to both be gone