Hugs to you and I totally 'get it'. Seriously I do. When I was your age [ok, here goes a mama talking..............] there wasn't a support internet group to relate to - to hug with - to vent with... I get it.
and I wish I had one.
Age 26 was extremely rough on me for the reasons you have stated
Now... [gulp] at almost 61... I'm good. Life is good and I have all the important loves in my life.
Am I still close to those many years ago...no- but I'm at peace with the loves I have.
hugs to you.