Do you appreciate unannounced visitors?

[prettyingreen]

I wiped down the table after breakfast this morning and my daughter asked, "Who's coming to our house?" Sad, but true.

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HAHAHAHA! my kids do the same thing when we ask them to pick up their toys... whos coming over? LOL

[Tree City]

HAHAHAHA! my kids do the same thing when we ask them to pick up their toys... whos coming over? LOL

lol, DD says that when I put pants on. "Mommy, why are you getting dressed? Who's coming over? No one? Then are WE going somewhere?!" Ah, from the mouth of babes...

[StarWarsFans]

lol, DD says that when I put pants on. "Mommy, why are you getting dressed? Who's coming over? No one? Then are WE going somewhere?!" Ah, from the mouth of babes...

Oh yeah, that too! If I put on makeup the kids immediately ask where we're going!

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[melbailey]

Thank you all for the help!!! I was trying so hard to find some answers to this and sooo glad I found your site!! My son's friends are always over, and most of them either walk home, I take them, or if their parents come, they just honk or text them and run out the door to the car. They don't even come to the door.

This one mom, who the son hasn't been over much, has done the same the only couple times he's been over. So it's last Sunday afternoon, I'm cleaning, dogs are all over, etc. and I'm on the phone with someone I don't get time with often, and she's going through some things and is upset. Door bell rings, and it's this kid's mom! So I try to talk a little, it seemed weird, like she was trying to make conversation with me. I mean, come on, there's a dresser in my living room, I have rags, and I'm on the phone! I was torn as to what to do, I felt totally trapped. She kept hanging around and trying to talk while she waited for him to come up. So I tried to talk to her a little while apologizing to the lady I was talking to on the phone and keep the dogs at bay. If I know you're coming, I have them arranged. He runs up, and they leave.

Fast forward, Sunday morning, this woman confronts me at church, telling me how rude I am, how she's never been to my house before, and I should have asked her if she wanted anything, blah blah blah, and how I am so rude b/c I never even got off the phone, and then she won't even let me speak to express how awkward it was for me to figure out who to talk to, or what to do with my cleaning! She's telling me that I should have hung up on the person, and called them back later! Then, after she gets done telling me how rude I was, etc, she walks away while I'm trying to talk!! I thought she was quite rude, and then thought what do you do in that situation. I didn't want to be rude to the person I was already talking to either, and I had no idea this woman was coming over, and the place was in mid-cleaning no less! I actually thought she was going to say something about the living room and the dresser in there! And then I thought, she just dropped in completely unexpectedly, and it's kind of narcissistic for her to think that she is more important than Everything else that was going on at that moment! I mean, it's clear that I'm in the middle of a hundred things. So I was trying so hard to figure this out, and I am so glad to find out that she after all, is rude for showing up for a "visit" without asking, and expecting me to entertain her! I felt like she was kind of inconsiderate of the fact that I had no idea she was coming, and that it was obvious that I was doing a bunch of other stuff, and didn't expect anyone. But she clearly thinks that I should have just stopped it all, hung up on someone, and sat her down for tea and crumpets!!

[StarWarsFans]

Some of you might remember my problem with a recurrent unanounced vistor last summer who would drop off unwanted boxes of unwanted toys and whose children would destroy my house. We eventually started keeping the blinds shut and the lights off 24/7. Yeah, it was bad. I was sooooooooo glad when they moved 20 miles away!

Wow. This old thread resurrecting has really hit me. The person I was talking about in this post died in a car accident 3 months after I wrote this. I've thought a lot about how I could have been a bit more gracious and hospitable about the whole situation. Hindsight is always 20/20 I suppose.

[StarWarsFans]

Thank you all for the help!!! I was trying so hard to find some answers to this and sooo glad I found your site!! My son's friends are always over, and most of them either walk home, I take them, or if their parents come, they just honk or text them and run out the door to the car. They don't even come to the door.

This one mom, who the son hasn't been over much, has done the same the only couple times he's been over. So it's last Sunday afternoon, I'm cleaning, dogs are all over, etc. and I'm on the phone with someone I don't get time with often, and she's going through some things and is upset. Door bell rings, and it's this kid's mom! So I try to talk a little, it seemed weird, like she was trying to make conversation with me. I mean, come on, there's a dresser in my living room, I have rags, and I'm on the phone! I was torn as to what to do, I felt totally trapped. She kept hanging around and trying to talk while she waited for him to come up. So I tried to talk to her a little while apologizing to the lady I was talking to on the phone and keep the dogs at bay. If I know you're coming, I have them arranged. He runs up, and they leave.

Fast forward, Sunday morning, this woman confronts me at church, telling me how rude I am, how she's never been to my house before, and I should have asked her if she wanted anything, blah blah blah, and how I am so rude b/c I never even got off the phone, and then she won't even let me speak to express how awkward it was for me to figure out who to talk to, or what to do with my cleaning! She's telling me that I should have hung up on the person, and called them back later! Then, after she gets done telling me how rude I was, etc, she walks away while I'm trying to talk!! I thought she was quite rude, and then thought what do you do in that situation. I didn't want to be rude to the person I was already talking to either, and I had no idea this woman was coming over, and the place was in mid-cleaning no less! I actually thought she was going to say something about the living room and the dresser in there! And then I thought, she just dropped in completely unexpectedly, and it's kind of narcissistic for her to think that she is more important than Everything else that was going on at that moment! I mean, it's clear that I'm in the middle of a hundred things. So I was trying so hard to figure this out, and I am so glad to find out that she after all, is rude for showing up for a "visit" without asking, and expecting me to entertain her! I felt like she was kind of inconsiderate of the fact that I had no idea she was coming, and that it was obvious that I was doing a bunch of other stuff, and didn't expect anyone. But she clearly thinks that I should have just stopped it all, hung up on someone, and sat her down for tea and crumpets!!

That is insane! I can't believe she would accuse you of all that when SHE was the one who showed up unannounced. Yikes!

[Ambelleina]

Wow. This old thread resurrecting has really hit me. The person I was talking about in this post died in a car accident 3 months after I wrote this. I've thought a lot about how I could have been a bit more gracious and hospitable about the whole situation. Hindsight is always 20/20 I suppose.

Now I feel bad about saying how my mom always comes over! Both of my sisters have now moved out of her house as well and she's depressed. She was telling me the other day she's sad, feels lonely and when it was time for her to go, she sadly sighed and quietly said, "Well...I guess I'll just go home now." I feel terrible for having said she bugs me when she shows up randomly now. :-/

[Angelclaud]

to all the posts. Sorry about some of the problems that you all have with unexpected visitors though.

melbailey, I definitely feel it's rude to expect one to hang up on the other person just because you came to visit. I mean, it might be something important, more important than a Mom who's just here to pick up a son.

We almost rarely gets unexpected visitors. Normally, they would at least call a couple of hours in advance before the visit so that's good.

[daisysmiles4you]

I don't like unexpected visitors and I would never show up unannounced. I don't think I could do it. I don't see how you can show up somewhere if your not expected. It's not like you friends and family are a store.