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Thread: Toddler Tips

  1. #1

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    Default Toddler Tips

    Any mums out there with tips for toddlers... She wont eat, wont sleep through, wont talk properly... we have a house full of tired and cranky parents and need some help!

    To be fair she does eat, but only real McDonalds chicken nuggets (we've tried making our own and putting them in the McD box, but she knows the difference!) and junk food. She wont even let you get the food near her mouth to taste it to even try. She had a very bad experience with food - 2 years of being sick with ear infections & 16 lots tonsillitis and vomiting almost every meal up she seems to have kept her food association to it and not sure how long it will take (if it ever will) to break her out of it. One child nurse said to put a meal in front of her and if she doesn't eat it she goes to bed hungry. The doctor said to give her a break because she had a rough time and will come around eventually.... I know a lot of parents have food issues with kids but Ella freaks out when food goes near her (unless its the chicken nuggest or the junk food she likes)... I never thought I'd hear myself say "I wish my kid at hot chips, at least its potato!". She wont even eat them. Before her surgery she ate so much and now after the pain of surgery (she almost died) its gotten really bad.... I've tried everything from disguising as funny faces, letting her help cook and pick out the food, to picnics outside (making eating fun), nothing seems to work. She is still only little, but how long do I allow her to get over her bad experiences.....

    My thoughts are about her sleeping is she wont sleep if she doesn't eat... The child nurse reckons it has nothing to do with it... I know I can't sleep if I'm hungry.... The last 2 nights (and it happens at least 1-2 times a week) she been awake for 3 hours in the middle of the night! We are all so tired and yet for a kid that doesn't eat or sleep its like someone gave her a can of energy drink!

    Her speech they say is delayed due to all the tonsil issues, but she happily repeats words from her fav TV show/movie. I know she can talk, she says heaps of words (can count, say the alphabet, knows most of the animals & sounds and even say s&^! that she learned from me accidentally saying it ONCE!) but she wont 'converse' with us. Wont answer a question or reply to anything. She just stares blankly at you or throws a tantrum when we ask her to use her words. Most of the time she just drags us around the house to tell us what she wants and its a constant guessing game as to what she wants. Makes it really hard to understand the world of a toddler when they wont respond!

    anyway from a VERY tired mum who is at her wits end, thats my rant for the day...

    any help or ideas would be great! off to have a nap now.... zzzzzzzzzzzzz

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Toddler Tips

    When my daughter was diagnosed with diabetes, her doctors said that as a toddler to let her eat what she would. they even had a child that ONLY ate chicken nuggets 3 meals everyday! They weren't real concerned and said that they would grow to eat other things, just keep trying.

    As for being up at night, maybe it is just a phase.

    As for talking, I don't know since she can and refuses. Maybe it is a control issue. There were a few things my dd did and refused to do and the doctors said there was so much of her life that was completely out of her control due to her health issues, that she controlled the things she could. Food was one of those things for us that she tried to control. maybe talking is one of those things for your dd.

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    Default Re: Toddler Tips

    awww dont stress mommy, I can tell you i am a very picky eater,and always have been, i have some kind of mental gag reflux withtexture, so i cant eat processed meats or food. my childhood dr. toldmy mom to just let me eat whatever i wanted and my body would tell mewhen i needed something, now that im grown up i basicly do the samething, i do try to try new things just because i know now it aprocessed food texture thing, but i listen to my body and it tells mewhen i need to take in more iron.

    and so i treat my kids the same way, i try really hard to get themto at least taste something new, but dont force them to eat it all.reading your post i was seeing my own little girl fight me overtrying whip cream LOL!

    i hope i have helped in some way, but as long as she is happy ithink she will be fine introduce new foods and hopefully her tasteswill change and things will be easier

  4. #4

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    Default Re: Toddler Tips

    I'm sorry you're having such a tough time right now! I agree with Missi: my first thought was "this sounds like control issues." Both the food and the talking are issues of control. SHE gets to decide when and what she eats. SHE gets to decide what and when to speak. But you know what she never got to decide? When she got sick, or when to go to the doctor or when to have surgery. Poor thing has been through a lot (and so have you!). Hopefully she'll grow out of it, but it may be a slow process. My DD eats anything so I'm unfortunately of no help with that. But when my DD didn't use her words, I'd look around the room (but not actually at her) and say out loud "Gosh, I think someone is poking me. But who would do that? I can't help someone who doesn't talk. How could I get what she needs if she won't tell me what it is?" and then I'd walk away. She would get so annoyed that I wasn't just giving in to her that she'd use her words: "MOMMY! IT'S ME! I'M TALKING TO YOU!!! I WANT MILK!!!!!!" lol. But my DD is a very verbal kid, so it was easy to "train" her to always "use her words." And for being up in the middle of the night... I'll save you the back story but we had similar night waking issues when DD was just turning 2. We put a lock on DD's door so she couldn't just leave her room. She learned to just go back to bed and fall asleep. But we told her what we were doing and why, and we still left her monitor on so we knew if she needed us or if she just wanted to play/be awake. And the first time we locked the door was naptime, which we thought would be easier on everyone: her because it wasn't all. night. long. and for us cuz we weren't so stinking tired.

    My mom's coworker had a son who refused to eat. He would eat plain yogurt and bologna and that was it. I mean, if she even TRIED to feed him something else, he'd puke it up. She took him to the pediatrician and to specialists and had an insane number of tests performed and guess what the specialists said? "There is nothing wrong with your son. It's a control thing." He's about 9 now and is definitely a better eater. But yeah, it stinks and it's tough, especially for you since you've got speech and sleep issues too. Usually parents deal with one, not all, of those! {{HUGS}}
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  5. #5

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    Default Re: Toddler Tips

    I guess I trained my kids the "other" way. (Being poor did that!) If there was food on the plate they would not eat, they went to bed hungry on their own. We were struggling and they were lucky to have any food. I did read a book about a women who had the same problem, and the doctor told her to stack her fridge with good foods- carrots and veggies and other good alternatives, get rid of all the bad stuff, and let the kid decide what and when to eat. He said the mother was shocked at how quick the transformation was.

    As for the playing at night thing. My kids have a HORRIBLE habit of taking a really late nap, so I would sometimes have my 3 year old up in the middle of the night as well. Although when they did take a nap say at 7, I would just let them sleep in hopes that it would be for the night! (Always wrong, which always makes a sleepy grumpy mommy!)

    As for the words, my son didn't start talking until he was 4 years old. He would throw major tantrums that would take 2 full grown adults to hold him so he won't hurt himself. (We even bought him a child helmet to put on him because they kept telling us to walk away when they did it, and he would stop. Pain never was an issue with him, so we had to be in the middle of it.) What we did (and sorry- it is slightly expensive) was buy the "Your Baby Can Read" set. It was SO AMAZING! It triggers a WHOLE NEW WORLD for him! Bonus for us was..... he learned to read maybe 2 years after that. We did do the "around the house" thing with him before that. My MIL would ALWAYS tell us about a cousin of hers that did the same thing even though he was like 4 years old. He came over, everyone asked for a cookie. He pointed and grunted. Her mom would NOT give him the cookie until he asked. She said he did it.

    Anyways, I'm not sure if I've helped you at all. Luckily my kids know that what they have is what they get. They do eat a lot of "health food" because we {most of the time} refuse to buy the junk out there. As long as my kids don't wake me or hurt themselves in the middle of the night, they are free to do what they want! And unless there tongue is swollen up, even the 3 year old is expected to talk.

    It WILL get better. Find a good friend and swap days for watching each other's kids. That way you both get a small break time.



  6. #6

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    Default Re: Toddler Tips

    Quote Originally Posted by Carleys Digi Scraps View Post
    Her speech they say is delayed due to all the tonsil issues, but she happily repeats words from her fav TV show/movie. I know she can talk, she says heaps of words (can count, say the alphabet, knows most of the animals & sounds and even say s&^! that she learned from me accidentally saying it ONCE!) but she wont 'converse' with us. Wont answer a question or reply to anything. She just stares blankly at you or throws a tantrum when we ask her to use her words. Most of the time she just drags us around the house to tell us what she wants and its a constant guessing game as to what she wants. Makes it really hard to understand the world of a toddler when they wont respond!

    THIS IS MY SON

    I was just telling DH I'm fed up tonight... I can't even talk to my kid and he is almost 4 years old!!!! I ask him a question, he changes the subject or ignores me, when I say "LUKE! Look at me", he looks briefly and says "What?", and when I repeat the question,etc he just stares at me or starts talking about Mickey MOUSE, WTH!?

    I'm sorry I have no advice Just needed a rant too I guess.... OH about the food.... I had to put a nasty powder in my sons food/drink for a staph infection a while back, and it took almost 6 months for him to eat applesauce or drink fruit juice again... but eventually when he saw his sister eating it, he knew the medicine wasn't in it....



  7. #7

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    Default Re: Toddler Tips

    Thanks ladies! I'd never thought about it being a control issue. but you are probably right, she loves being in control so could be the answer to some of it!

    Also thanks for letting me vent! I also feel better after a bit of a nanna nap today (Ella was a daycare today). Fingers crossed things improve in time, will keep you all posted!

  8. #8

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    Default Re: Toddler Tips

    My son is the same way and I have to sleep with him all night or else he won't sleep. He is very fussy with foods because he has sensory issues and receives occupational therapy for that and he doesn't talk clearly and was diagnosed with Apraxia of speech so he is in speech therapy as well. He will only eat corndogs, ramen noodles, and chicken nuggets and french fries. It has to do with sensory integration problems. I figure eating even that crap is better than nothing at all. He is very tall and skinny and I wish he would eat. I supplement him with multi vitamins and I also give him omega 3 with dha. This is just a short version of our problems but it kind of sounds like your daughter. Oh yeah and my son is 7.



  9. #9

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    Default Re: Toddler Tips

    I have a picky eater. She eats cereal for breakfast, which she chooses and likes, and whatever she wants for lunch, but at dinner, she gets whatever I fix. She can eat or not eat, but that's her dinner. Most days, now, she at least tries all of it. When I first started, there were lots of no dinner nights, but I didn't feel so bad, since I knew she was getting two other meals and a snack most days.

    With the talking, Katelyn loved to talk, so this wasn't a big issue for me, but we had a friend who's little girl refused to talk and we had to do what was mentioned above, she could drag you to the fridge, but if she didn't say "milk" we wouldn't give it to her.

    With sleeping, I agree, she might be hungry, you could give her a bedtime snack first. But if she wakes up, I wouldn't turn on lights or you know BE up. Just check on her and put her back in bed if needed. A gate or a door lock, so she can't come out. If she realizes that nothing fun will happen, she might stop getting up. From being sick, she probably woke up a lot and got out of the habit of sleeping a full night. Poor kid! (And poor mama!)

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